Costochondritis ROUND 2

Well as that girl in Poltergeist said---- "It's baaaaaack", I could hardly believe it. The doctor said yesterday it is Costochondritis and Internal Shingles again that have me so ung-dly ill again.

Three medications and lots of bed rest I was also told yesterday that as far as the SHigles go they may never become external, if they do it could be rather serious but it also doen't mean that would be the end of it, they could come back over and over and over again.

Right now I am so depressed over the whole thing it isn't even funny, I just dread the thought of possibly being ill again till Easter---like last year. For those of you who were not reading this blog last year Costochondritis is an infection which causes your bones in your ribs to swell and causes incredible pain. Add to this the internal Shingles and that pain which is quiet intense and the Shigles being in my chest--you can begin to understand why I am on heavy duty pain killers and why this has me so down.

Between the two infections and the medicationsto treat them my Advanced Nueropathy is also out of whack which screws up my balance again. I haven't fallen like last year yet, but she wants me with no less than a cane but would perfer me with a walker till this passes again.

Well the new goodie I want to share is the BRAND NEW just released in December Marvel Comics "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" Comic book by Eric Shanower and Skottie Young. From what I understand is that it will be a series of eight comic books, one released every month for eight months which started in December it also has/had a free sketch book. The sketch book was to be out before but from what the guy said there were some minor problems with production. The guy that runs a vintage toy shop/ comic book shop set both aside for me as he knew I loved Oz so much.

When I went to ask about them about a little over a week ago they had just come in and he was very nice to me and gave me the promotional poster as well, I was stunned to say the least. He also mentioned that he will be getting the Gentle Giant Oz busts as well--- so somehow I have to set aside money for those maybe I can sell my body to science---giggle!

I also wanted to point out that this blogs web address changes on January 1, 2009 which is this thursday to http://MyJourneywithJudy.blogspot.com so hopefully you have that marked down, I would hate to lose readers but I wanted the title to reflect the blog more.

Until then keep me in your prayers adn that I recover rather fast.

Some new Oz/Judy items

Well I know it has been awhile since I posted about some new items in my collection. The last few purchases have been Michael Roche figurines and I have more to buy before I finish the series. You can see some of them in the fourth picture in the entry called "The Shrine".

As far as Christmas goes the only Oz things I had given to me were from my Secret Santa and my year long Secret Pal both from the Everything Oz Group I belong too. "Glinda Pam Pack-Pappas and I met when I had blood tests in Cleveland right after Christmas and she was very sweet and kind to me with goodies and lunch and for that I am indebted.

Nothing says the holidays like a good corn beef and latkes with potato salad in my opinion.

The first item I have had a little time and it is a "Look" Magazine from October 7, 1969 with an article written by Mickey Deans about Judy's last tragic months. The story is like 4 pages long and is mostly things Mickey re-says in his book that he writes later that the article. The book is "Weep No More My Lady" which I have had in my collection for some time.




The second item I want to mention today is original sheet music from "Meet Me in St. Louis" and of course is the theme song from the movie "Meet Me in St. Louie, Louie".

Directed by Vincente Minnelli and produced by Arthur Freed the movie went on to be a classic and you can check out the Christmas post with Judy singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" The song was written by Andrew Sterling and music was by Kerry Mills.

On a different note I want to ask that you all keep me in your prayers today as I go to the doctors as I have felt just god awful for over a week. My chest and back hurting just as bad as last year this time. My legs and arms hurt really bad today and strength is a problem. Personally I think it is either the internal shingles flaring up again or it is the start of pneumonia, but than I am no doctor--I do know how I feel.

There are other things I want to cover in the upcoming days and some other new goodies I have added to my collection to sales I did right before Christmas on E-bay. So until then......

Merry Christmas from MY girls

Well this first one is the newest girl in my family--Toto and this is her very first trip to the groomer's

This second one is the diva Jackie and have had her the longest at 3 years now.

And last but not least is Glinda and have had her now a little over the year--she is my spitfire.

I tried getting all three in one shot for you with their Christmas bow-bows and them freshly grooomed but I wanted to share my best OZ collectibles ANYWHERE!

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Some Judy Artwork

Well I had a request to post some of the Judy Artwork I have been doing lately most of it original actaully all but one. All painted in acrylics. Hope you enjoy.

Ok the very last one is based on a drawing done for one of Juudy's concerts, I liked it so much I drew and painted it ON MY WALL next to the room that hoses darn near all my Judy/Oz stuff again painted in acrylics.

Just thoughts-- no words need to be said----

over 3,000 hits and thoughts on December

I can hardly believe since April 19, of last year this blog has had over 3,000 hits its unreal in away. And my freinds this blog has seen its changes from the ins and outs of my daily life, my sppiritual journey, my artwork and collecting Wizard Of Oz and Judy Garland. Somehow all of you have manged to stick right by me through it all, and for that I am very thankful indeed.

I know some of you may have lost interest when in the last few months the focus has been on my collecting Judy and Wizard Of Oz but what many of you may not realize is the sheer joy, happiness and satisfaction I get by collecting, talking about and sharing with all of you my collecting. Judy and Oz in so many ways lives a void in my life, and emptiness if you will. It brings me such peace. I hope it never ends.

Dolls did for a long time almost 16 years of doll collecting and now slowly selling of many of my pieces I feel like dolls have left my life--all except my Oz stuff and what precious little Judy dolls I have. I think alot of it has to do with the running the doll hsopital for almost 7 years--its like I have suffered burn out ina very major way. Ihaven't bought a doll magazine in MONTHS and the only new dolls I have bough within the last year have been Oz related.

The repairs have come to a near stand still and a lot of it in my opinon is the economy and te hard time EVERYONE is having financially. In many ways it makes me thankful because I now have some free time to pursue other art/craft interests.

As many of you know December is a VERY hard month for me--all of those old emotions of losing Ron now 7 years ago on December 21st. Many times the pain is still as deep as it was that day, I know many of you will say my life has moved on and in many ways it has and Jim is a wonderful man but there are many times I wish I could just speak with Ron one more time. There are times I wish he were only a phone call away. What I wonder is do people who have lost someone feel the same way I do seven years later?

I will try better this week about posting here and until then..... I had t post this clip i loved the music and teh words "My dream is to fly Over teh rainbow so high". If partial nudity is offensive to you this video may not be for you but againn a "little eye candy' never hurt anyone---LOL and bseides its about the words (Even I don't totally believe that one --giggle)

My dreams............

As many of you around my birthday I had this dream about Judy and you can read it around Nov. 16th in the posts. Anyway Tuesday of this week ( I know I am late but it has been so busy here) I had this dream---everybody break out into I HAD A DREAM, a wonderful dream baby ......

Any way it was in the wonder NYC restaurant the kind with a stage and very upscale and posh and chic. I was sitting at this table alone rather gray looking I might add and out of the side of the restaurant walks LIZA!! Yes silly that Liza as in Minnelli.

Anyway she sits at my table takes my hand and we start talking. About everything. We start off talking about her mother Judy and that she understands I adore her and would love to see my collection some time very soon. Her fingers are caressing my hand as we speak and she tears up. Crying she tells me how much she adored her mother, how it about killed her when "Mama" died and how terribly she misses her.

The conversation turns and she starts talking about Peter Allen how much to this very day she loves him, how dreadfully she misses him and how much she hates from taking him from her. Big tears in our eyes she holds my hand tight and says I know you understand about this having lost to partners to AIDS yourself.

I was stunned, crying I told Liza I loved her as well like I do her mother and how I wish I was older so I could have known her and Liza looks me dead in the eye and says "You know when it is your time to die "Mama" is going to be waiting for you at the pearly gates. She knows how much you love her, how much you want to spend time with her and when you finally see her it will be forever you know darling"

I woke very briefly after that just crying deeply--this mental image of Judy with her hands out at the gates of heaven waiting for me to spend all of eternity with me--I hope its true.

Then Wednesday night I had this dream where I ran into this very tall good looking, dashing, dapper man and he was the ultimate collector of Judy Garland. he had every photograph ever taken, every movie ever made, every concert program and poster she ever sang, every piece of clothing and jewelry and shoes she ever wore on stage, in films, at concerts unreleased taped songs, interviews you name it he HAD IT! He even had a small glass box with some of her hair in it

I digress though he grabs me by the waist and says "I am not getting any younger and I understand you love Judy more than anything else and I want to leave you everything Judy I have on one very small condition. That you will put in your Will that everything I leave you goes to the Judy Garland Museum in Grand Rapids Minnesota.

Crying I agree and he opens a small closet and pulls out the original Dorothy dress, the test dress, the black and white dress as well and the Aladdin test shoes and a pair of the Ruby REDS! He grabs me again kisses me and says i know you will love it and care for it and do as I ask. I also know how much Judy means to you and how you pinch pennies to buy what you have and I want someone to have it that loves it as much or more than I do.

"The Shrine"

OK well I have the pictures finally taken, I have them finally re-sized for the blog and hopefully you will enjoy seeing what Jim teasingly calls "The Shrine". Personally I call it "The Museum" or "Judy's Room" I spend a lot of time in her when I am upstairs in my studio. I moved the record player up into the room last week so I could play all of the records I have--currently 66 records thanks to Jane Albright--Jane I love ya! I will have to share the story sometime how I got them.

The blue painting you see in this shot was painted by me by the way and is done in Acrylics. It measures I think 16 X 16. I also have a sealer over it which gives it's glossy look.

By the way I have started listening to them again one by one the first time took over a month to do it, but with it in now in "The Museum" it is like Judy is in that room giving me my own private concert. Wonder how many of us that collect Judy or Oz have our own room for the stuff, as you will see the wall space is sparse and will be starting it the hall as well very shortly.

Well anyway forgive the pictures and if the room looks a little disheveled as it is always a work in progress. Right no I am trying to clean it up and organize for the company that is coming Sunday just to see the room, who knew there was so much dust. The room is basically an old bedroom and I have to paint the walls which I probably should have done before turning it into this crowded space. I just had to start and have a place other than through out the whole house that I could call my own.

The idea really hit after being at the Yellow Brick Road Shop in Chesterton and visiting their mini museam as well. I just could not get the idea out of my head and started very shortly after getting home from their. Their is sheet music, books, Cd's, figurines, posters, old magazines, photos, autographs, dolls, banks, souvier programs a lot of stuff to be honest including my prize possesions Judy's personal earrings and purse. What I would give to own just a scrap of one of Judy's dresses!!

Well gang thanks for the visit and I hope to hear how you all enjoy it!

Well I know it has been a while but it has been terribly busy with Doll work due at Christmas, E-bay selling, ACT card making, setting up the new blog and well collecting Judy--which of course is my all time favortie thing to do.

Another World AIDS Awareness Day (December 1st) has come and gone and I wonder is it me or did the media as a whole forget the whole event? Wonder if AIDS is no longer the "Hot topic" it once was?

I do have the photos taken of my "Judy Room" I just have to size and crop them so a few more days. I did however want to share some of my newest finds on E-bay. Well tow of them are any way . They are reproduction posters.....

Although I could not find online the actual dates for this concert I just had to have these posters. They measure 11X 17 and are on some very nice card stock paper like posters use to be made of. Both were fairly inexpensive as they are reproductions but again you are tlaking to a die hard collector here .


This second poster I bought because I loved the pose and the COLOR of the poster. Again 11X 17 and again a reproduction but still in my opinon a nice reprodution. Again it is on heavy card stock. I do know about htis poster that the concert took place in Eugene Oregan on July 15, 1955. Of course I did buy frames for both of these so they hang on the wall in the room.



This last posster was found in an Antique Mall in Berlin, Ohio which is the heart of Amish Country in Holmes County. For us it is maybe a 30 minute drive. I have never seen anything Judy Garland or Oz in this place and EVRYTIME I go I do look. Tis time I really lucked out and found an old print ad from a Magazine for "Girl Crazy".... which of courser Judy and Mickey. Again this poster is a print--this time in magazine form and measures 11X17 and is the second Movie poster I have from Judy's Career. The graphic in my opinion was just stunning and the color was vibrant and wonderful.

Directors: Norman Taurong Busby Berkley

Writers: Guy Bolton (musical play) and Jack Mc Gowan (musical play)

Release Date: November 26, 1943

Tagline: LOVE OR LUNACY? It's the wild cry of a "girl-crazy" cowboy...but one clear-eyed daughter of the west ropes and ties him! more

Plot: Rich kid Danny Churchill (Rooney) has a taste for wine, women and song, but not for higher education...

New blog and other stuff

Just a fast note to those interested in seeing my Artist Trading cards and other art work I decided to make another blog for them its called "Fairie Dust Studios" and it is located at http://fairieduststudios.blogspot.com/ so this site now is just personal news and my collecting of Judy/Oz. I came up with the name as it was catchy and kind of reminded me of the one things fairies supposedly make is Fairie Dust and hence that is what this "fairie" makes as well !

So with that in mind I want to share some of my newest pieces the first is an original postcard that shows Judy's home in Bel Air. The card is linen and from the 1940's, the one i have has been used and was sent in 1941 from a family member who moved out to California after living in New York. It gves it a nice history beside the connection to Judy.



The second piece is Dairyland Ice cream Lid from around the time frame "The Harvey Girls was released. On the back side of the top it says Dixie's Dainty Cup packed with Dairyland Ice Cream Manufactured by Nacogdoches Ice Cream Co. Allegedly this piece is hard to find but at under $5.00 it was a buy and something very unique indeed. Thank you E-bay



The last piece for now that I want to share with all of you is another book/magazine. I bought this because of the beautiful artwork on the cover. "A Special Tribute Issue Judy Garland" by Skywald Publishing Corporation. The content is in black and white it has 66 pages and has 125 photographs some of which I have NEVER seen anywhere else!

I want to scan some of the photographs and possibly post them here so all of you can enjoy them as well. I have to take the time and sit and read it as well. But it was such a nice piece.

In the next few days will also be posting pictures of artwork I did of Judy here that hangs in my "shrine". A new friend asked to see photographs of my room and will be sharing those with you here as well. it is going to be a busy Judy month I can tell.

Until then "I will be back when the back when the Elephants roost in the trees"

Newest ATC Cards

Ok this set was made for the ATC Newbie's Group I belong to and it was Gingerbread People, gingerbread making, gingerbread eating--well you get the idea

The first two use coffee filters, acrylic paints, rubber stmaps, inks, stickers, varnish, pop dots and paper piecing. Of the three my favorite is the one with the plate of cookies

This piece was hand drawn and used markers, chalk and a fixative spray.

This last one I think is one of my best It is the ATC gift I am giving the hostess of this swap, won't she be surprised! It uses coffee filters, acrylic paints, antique page from a book, rubberstamp ink, wing stickers, Japanese Rice paper, Antique photo and varnish. It seemed once I did those Christmas Fairies a few days back I was inspired to do more fairies. Hope she lies it.

A slap upside my head

I want to share part of a private letter I got from a very dear man and a great freind of mine John Fricke--which was my wake up call, my slap upside my head. If you receieve e-mail from you then you recognize.....

"Yeah, it's sad, believe me missy, When you're born to be a sissy, Without the vim and verve. But I could show my prowess,Be a lion not a mowess, If I only had the nerve.I'm afraid there's no denyin' I'm just a dandelionA fate I don't deserve.

Which I close all my e-mails with

......I have a question. Is there a reason all your emails -- private and public -- conclude with the partial lyric from "If I Only Had the Nerve"? It's a great song, no question...but given the fact that you're such a survivor and a triumphant human being in terms of your talent and your personal life and your achievements, I just find it oddly negative. It's nothing at ALL that I would ever associate with you; you need to find a lyric about a champion!

John F.

I decided to share that letter and my response to it because I felt it fit a thread of thought I have had since yesterday's post.

My Dear John:

I picked that lyric at the time because I thought I associated with it quiet a bit. Living as long as I have with AIDS I have felt off and on that it has been a life in fear, never the courage to live and do the things I would really love to do. I have felt so shut out at times, and left out at times and on the edge of life itself many times. Never the money to not worry like I do about the future if something should happen.

It seems like I never give myself enough credit for the things I have done, I continue to do and the goals I want to reach before the end of it.

I have never had the confidence in myself for what I really wanted, and I have never had the family support I needed to feel like I could do it on my own, I have always put myself last. It is Jim to a large degree that has made realize the talent that is there along with the skill. Made me think what do I really want.
John, I never thought nearly 18 years this July 16th that I would live this long and the plans I had at one time all died when I found out that it was AIDS, my life has never been the same. It has made me into who I am but to a large degree I feel like I have settled for less many times. Sometimes for the good and some times for the bad.

.......the last two months I have been seriously thinking of going back to college but I am so torn about what to take--my heart ADORES fashion, my mind says I want to write because I feel at many times I have no voice at all, but I have no idea what to write........

Being at the festival and meeting all of the incredible people there--and three of the biggest influences on me were Danny Windsor-- because of where he has been and what he has seen.

Michael Siewert- because of his love of clothes and primarily Judy's and you. You have made yourself into someone who does what he loves for a living--write, talk and educate about Judy. It didn't dawn on me at the time what a role you play in "Judy"-- I didn't realize there were the "talks" before some of her movies out on DVD......

My heart and my soul have not been the same since the festival. All I think about it is Judy, all I listen to is Judy, all I want to learn about is Judy, all I buy is Judy--I have fallen in love with Judy like never before, the only place I am finding peace is in the room I have set up with my Judy items in it.........

Between the festival and Michael and you it has been nothing but Judy ever since...... Sorry to have rambled.

Always Charlie

Happy Thanksgiving

Subtle Hate--Homphobia among us-- A RANT

Well after a conversation with my mother this early evening I had to go somewhere and rant and I guess this is my space to do.

It was an innocent enough phone call about what time they are coming tomorrow for dinner as Jim is working till 3--well that phone call took the wind out of me literally. I started innocently with my aunt "supposedly asking about me. We have not spoken in 2 years because " I am that diseased faggot" you know and she might catch it if she happens to breath the same air I happen to be breathing. Her words there not mine.\

I said I found that hard to believe as the last conversation with my aunt she said I should leave Jim, marry some nice girl and have three kids. So I said that to my mom and she said" Well I could hope for you to do that someday, but you would probably be miserable--but I would be happy". I couldn't believe it!

I know things have changed since her two strokes but this issue of my being gay and having AIDS has seemed to resurface on a fairly regular basis and I for the life of me can not understand why.

I have been out since I was 21 years old, have had AIDS now 18 years in July and have had a decent, hard working, loving devoted man in my life all but for 3 years of that time! But more could I want!

I feel like I could solve world poverty, end world hunger, eradicate prejudice, end the financial depression we are in as a world and heal the sick, raise the dead and walk water but none of it would matter as I would still be "that diseased faggot".

I didn't wake up one day and choose to "Be this"--I did choose to accept who I was, I did choose the men in my life, I did choose to try to treat myself better to try to survive longer living with a killer disease and all for what? Is it subtle hate? Is it over reaction.

It is just a shame that they can't love me for who I am and what I have and realize I do matter---I'M DONE!

Newest ATC cards

Ok, I have been a creating fool here lately, these darn little ATC cards . I am signed up for so many swaps right now it is unreal but hey I am having fun.

This set is for the ATC Newbies group I belong to and the theme was SNOW--snow men, snowflakes, snowball fights, activities you can do in snow--you get the idea. It was a 3 for 3 swap but I decided to do 5 since the ideas wouldn't stop.

The things I used was stickers, coffee filters, acrylic paint, silver lace, varnish, satin ribbon, Tulle, markers, one was hand drawn, embossing powder, crocheted snowflakes I found and finally Modge Podge. What a list of supplies!!

After all that snow, I made a RAK (Random Act of Kindess) ATC for our hostess for the swap and I had to do something warmer , anyway I do hope you all enjoy some of the newest cards and hopefully they find good homes

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For All you ATC lovers--new ATC's

This first group of ATC's is for the website ATC's for All and the theme was "Christmas Fairies".... so yours truly had a little fun with the theme.... this set I used Antique Christmas card as the background, glitter, newsprint, stickers, Vellum paper, sticker wings, Liquid Applique, bards and Varnish

The second set is for the Yahoo Group ATC Newbies and the them was "Christmas Around The World"... I took it as an idea to make postcard style ATC's which I have to say turned out really nice. I used Antique Christmas cards, newsprint, glitter, Liquid Applique coffee filter, Acrylic Paint, stickers, newsrint, varnish, rubber stamps, vintage book page, markers and varnish to make these cards. Out of this set my favorite card is the "Merry Christmas from Paris"

New things added in my collection

Well gang not to much new on the home front here when it comes to personal news so I thought I would share some of my newest E-bay finds with all of you.

The first is original sheet music from "Meet Me In St. Louise" and is the "Trolley Song", this was a nice find as it was very inexpensive.

The second is another souvenir program from when Judy was doing concerst most iof the interior photogrpahs are the same but the cover one was so beautiful I could not pass.



Work wise it has been hard but struggle I do, I have to take one whole day to catch up on my doll work, the only thing that keeps me going is my winter Cross stitch project which I will share when it is done and my ATC's. I was thinking of starting another blog just for my ATC's what does everybody think? I have a few ideas what to call it but not sure if it would be worth the effort to do a seperate blog or not.