Another doctors visit

The photos in today's blog are from an E-bay auction that was brought to my attention from an online group I belong to called Viki's Finds and her Top E-bay picks. This doll is a full body sculpt done in an oven bake polymer clay with Mohair wig. What I find fascinating is that not that many people for some reason sculpt dolls of men and this one is so incredibly well done, I just had to share hi with all of you. His "Tarzan" outfit is made of leather and does reveal a little bit of "tushie" so if you are of faint heart skip that photo that is enclosed in this blog as well. Hopefully this artist does more of this kind of thing soon and for the life of me I wish I could remember her name but you know they say the first thing to go is your mind !
Well I saw yesterday the urologist and I am scheduled Friday for actual surgery, apparently they do not want to waste anytime fooling around. I found out the stones are 7 and 8 millimeters in size and when most people pass them they are no more than a 4 in size. The other thing in regard to them is that they are positioned in such away that the "water blasting" that at times is done, is not possible so its actual surgery. They go up in you with a scope, crush them and then pull them out. While in you they are going to temporarily leave a plastic stint as the thingy the pee goes through usually collapses when they remove stones of this size.

The plastic stint is left in long enough for this thingy to heal itself around it and keep the shape its suppose to and then its another procedure to have it removed. Honestly, I am a little scared but I also know it could have been much worse, and because it is not I am thankful and grateful. Not sure about the time yet on Friday as the doctors office has not called back but it is done at the hospital as an outpatient. I swear they do not keep anybody for anything anymore--oh well, what is a boy to do.

One other thing I found out is that he is 90% sure they are caused by the medications I am on and that I am not drinking nearly enough water and because of that the medications as they "dissolve" turn into this gooey glop of gunk that then turns into crystals that have calcium in them and they then in turn into stones. So I have to drink more water to help prevent this from happening again. The thing is out of all the times I have had these this is the first doctor that has said this. At least now I know, and can do something about it.


The dresses for the doll for the church raffle are almost done, have to buy baby socks and shoes yet and finish the bear to go with it but should have that done by the deadline. I am also working on patterns for a secret collaboration with an other artist. It is three glamorous dresses, one of which is going to be made from antique material, but don't want to say more than that as I want the other artist to reveal it all when it is all done, so keep posted.

Hope all of you are well and know that you are in my thoughts.


Charlie

I know you guys more than likely know the words to this as well as I do, so join me and sing along and for wondering minds yes this "queen" is dancing in the corner to it !!!

It is just another day

Well gang, it is just another day here and to tell you the truth I am begginning to feel that the blogging thing doesn't matter, that very few of you are reading what is being written, that in the grand scheme of things I may not even matter for that matter. Does my heart ache--yes, does my sould hurt--yes, does it feel like I can not get ahead or at least afloat--yes, does it seem like I can not serve G-d in the way that I should or have been called to do--Absolutely!!

Yes gang I am still on depression medication--but this is more than that. I just do not feel useful, I don't feel like G-d is even listening to my prayers. It is like he has turned a deaf ear to me somehow. It is like this higher purpose is beyond reacha nd always will be. That some how it is my fault for not being righteous or holy enough, yes even good enough to serve, let alone get what I want and need aout of this.

First it was this class being called off, then its volunteering for things or positions and not being needed or asked to serve or yes even overlooked. It is how I feel, it may not be the way it is but if there is one thing I have learned in mym time it is to speak in "I" statements. So here go some of my "I" statements...................

1. I feel that G-d has led me down this very special path to somehow serve Him and that by serving him my life will be filled with joy and peace.


2. I feel that part of this path is in reaching out to those in need in some kind of stewardship maybe even becoming a chaplain, but that for some reason things have not worked out that way as of yet and that i nthe process I feel used!


3. I feel that my talents to a large degree are being wasted and that there is something larger in store for me as well in this area and for what ever reasons that has not worked out either and in the process I feel rejected!


4. I feel to some degree that a part of this is my fault because of my own mismanagement and that if I could buckle down and apply myself I could get it all done. I also feel no else is going to make this happen but for me!


5. I feel I need to confront some issues and people in and around mylife. BUt I also feel I do not know how without hurting them, harming our friendships or causing a rift between us. But I also feel to a large degree it can be ignored no longer.

Well I guess till next time--and till I can get it all sorted out--I cherish those friendships and relationships that I have and that are in "the inner circle" of my life, I am thankful for those that take the time and read my blog and watch the "Youtube" posts as well as many times it is a real non-verbal look into my head and my life--

Charlie

Oy Vey what a day

Well kids, as many of you know I am not one to really complain, but yesterday was just the day from complain-ville. It all started with the heat-- which was darn near 100 yesterday. Well I was upstairs working on doll repairs with the windows open, the fans going and my shirt off, as the house does not have central air in it. Any way I got to feeling nauseous and light headed, so I laid down on the floor in my doll room to get my whits about me.

Got up and went downstairs as Jim had lunch ready, laid down in the bedroom to cool off as it is the only room with an in window air conditioner. Got rather cool and than the pain started, really severe pain in my left side and could barely move, then the pain became excruciating, tried to get into the kitchen to get my lunch as was also starved and next thing I know I was on the floor doubled over in agony.

I had Jim call the paramedics, who took all my vitals, started some oxygen and an IV and ran me into the emergency room about 1/2 hour away. By this time I was very light headed and very dizzy and still in agony. Got into the emergency room and my room and they took my vitals again and some blood work and sent me off to have a CT scan to find out what the heck was going on as we still had no clue whatsoever.

Well to make this long story short--KIDNEY STONES, again kids--this is now 17 times in 16 years I have had these. There are two of them sizes 7-8 millimeters, which also means kids--SURGERY!! More than likely the water kind and no actual incisions or anything but Oy the pain. I called Friday (today) and have an appointment to see a urologist on Monday who will do the procedure and will keep you posted on what happens from there. In the past the stones have been caused by my HIV/AIDS medications and we have ended up changing them, hopefully this time that is not the case. I really don't want on a new combination and to go through six weeks of side effects before I get use to them.

On other news, the Spirituality Class at the hospital has been CANCELLED!! As they did not have enough people to sign up for it, which is a real shame as I was really wanting to do this and answer the call that I feel G-d has lead me to. I still have a chance at the year long class that starts in in May 2008. I want to thank all of you that joined me in praying that somehow this class would happen, apparently, Our G-d knows that now is not the time and has a divine plan and purpose laid out.

Please join me though in praying that the surgery goes well and that I can do the water blasting versus actual incision surgery.

Charlie

Update from the last week

The photos are of a one of a kind doll that was recently on E-bay and I just fell in love with, for the life of me I can't remember the name of the piece or the artist--I think it was called the "Death of a Fairy" but that could be way off. I felt it was so moving and strring that I had to share it here. Not only was it dolly related but it was really lated to the realm of Spirituality. And maybe that is what I need to try to do within this site is mix the two and then maybe people will be reading more and maybe even responding more--you knows?

Well gang, I know it has been a while again since I posted but things here have been busy as usual. You know normal life stuff--house work, shopping, yard care, laundry and then of course dolly work. Stuff for customers as always and then the last week or so working on a doll for our church raffle in October. The town our church is in has an Applefest in October and our church does a raffle and this year one of the prizes is this doll.

It is going to be this Linda Rick doll with 3-4 dresses I am making, a handmade teddy bear, a blankie, a pillow and an antique baby bassinet. The one dress has been so far a fair amount of work to it as I am embroidering kitties on it. Its one of those iron on transfers that some people use in childrens quilts. The kitties are doing sutff like ironing, cooking, wheeling baby litties ina buggy. In all 6 iron on transfers. It should be awfully adorable when it is done.

Today is the last art class till mid September and then I have to find out for sure about the timing for my Spirituality Class at Akron General I spoke back some time ago and then adjust my art classes around that. I have been working ona portrait in that clas of Jim's mother when she was 16 which was in the early 1920's and if finished in time will b e one of his Christmas presents. Somewhat of a secret so lets keep that between us. Right now still praying and witing to see if enough people have signed up for the class to go forward. Lets all hope there are enough for the class to happen, and lets all continue to pray.

As some of you may know the last few days here have been raining quiet a bit and there is some minor flooding in our town. Nothing serious as the main river and then the Ohio Erie Canal run through some unhoused areas in town. So the worst of the damage is that the downtown park is under about foot or more of water and much deeper in spots. Usually in the last five years that I have lived here we only get minor canal/river flooding in the spring when the snow melts.

The "shoe complaint lady" did show up and I made Jim deal with her and after all the headache, heart ache and complainign she did with me on the phone, she was as nice as sin can be and just "an utter joy" to work with--JIm's words not mine. I could have literally screamed! Oh well there just is no pleasing some people and apparently she is one of them.

We, being Jim and I, took my parents out for supper as it was my Dad's birthday--he turned 68 by the way-- and we had such a nice time and such a great meal in one of those Amish run and owned restraunts in Amish country by my parents, which is a little different then the Amish country by Jim and I.

Well gang its off to work, hope all of you are doing well and that you are finding the strength to get through lifes daily stuff, and the finding the hope to help you conquer even those little "mini battles" as I call them. Until then my friends may G-d shine his face on you and surround you in his love.

Charlie--you all remember this right? And how to do it right? If so join me

Some INCREDIBLE news

I want to start and say thank G-d it has finally cooled off here some, because of the rain storms that ran through her last week. The humidity hasn't nearly been as terrible as it was nor has the actual temperature itself, we haven't had to run the air conditioner in the bedroom the last few days where there for a while we hardly shut it off. Matter of fact very late last night/very eraly this morning I had to pull the light weight balnket on the bed as I was chilly.

The pepper plants so have far have only produced two peppers but the cucumbers are going beserk and even though they are samll they are so good. The tomatoes how ever have been pathetic--tiny, green and not very many of them like last year maybe we haven't had enough rain for them to do any better.

Well I passed my TB test that I had to have for the upcoming Spirituality/Chaplain course I am taking at Akron General Hospital which begins in September. Join me in prayer that we get at least teo more people to sign up as they need at least three to hold it and right now I am the only one regisitered. This is part two of the class and includes some psychitary--maybe I could set a booth like Lucy from the "Peanuts" comics and give out advice for an iuckel !

The doll work has kept me very busy, and the painting right now I take one full day off of doll work and do nothing but paint. I also have a doll I am doing for our church raffle for the Norton Apple Festival, have one I promised Akron Childrens Hospital for their big Christmas fundraising event and of course my Dream Halloween piece. When do I find the time to sleep you ask--I don't know !

Unto the INCREDIBLE news, I went to my HIV Specialist (who I went back to after almost a year and a half of seeing someone closer to home)last week and got some news that knocked me out of my chair......

1st- When I went back to him I weighed a mere 155 which for me was horrific--I looked like a death camp survivor honestly ( a 29 waist when normal for me is 33-35). I know weigh an even 200!

2nd- No new signs of Kaposi Sarcoma or KS as its called--which is what I was dealing with at the Orlando National BArbie doll convetion. While the lesions i had then are now COMPLETELY GONE!!

3rd-- The biggest was my t-cells and viral load. Kepp in mind a normal t-cell range is around 1,800 so the higher the numbers the better and viral load is the amount of activity the HIV/AIDS virus has in your body so the lower those numbers the better. When I went back to my t-cells were 11 and a viral load of 35,000. My first tests after changing meds were 55 t-cells and an undectible viral load, this time around t-cells were 158 and viral load still undectible.

Now this is the highest my t-cells have been in eight years and if they go above 200 it wil be the first time in 15 years. When I heard the news I about fell out of my chair but thrilled, so apparently my meds are working and the love of a partner and my dog can't hurt any thing either.

Well gang, guess I will close for today here and hopefuly can put in an entry here tommorrow--See you then. So until then join me and lets boggie to some Bee Gee's

Charlie

Update from last week

Well gang, you know if you have been in here, in a regular basis I missed all of last week and part of this one as well--bad blog author bad!! But between the heat making me, and most of us, absoultely miserable and some days down right sick and between the back log of work that I have been trying to get done it has been beyond hectic.

If your wondering why the heat has taken its toll here it has been upper 90s to 100s for days now and the freaking humidty has been the worst of it, there were a few days were I could ring out the sweat of a shirt I was wearing, it was that bad. The part that makes this even worse is the house doesn't have central air and the only room with an in window air conditioner is the bedroom, so we have been hanging out there an awful lot. More Jim than tnan me the last couple days as the heat has been making him very naseaus to say the least of it.

The other part of this equation is that the heat has also, like may f you, drained everything out of me and have ended up taking naps mid-afternoon because of the sheer exhaustion. Enough heat talk, good news I got my very first bell pepper out of my garden yesterday, my first tomatoe as well day before yesterday and trimmed back some of the growing lavender and debating between cookies, tea or making soap with it. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

I have a question here for my readers who do doll owrk or work that others pay you for your service. I had a lady last week, who I had a susipion would be a pain in the butt just from the very first meeting, and especially from the day she picked the repair up. Well she called me day before Monday and proceeded to call me everything in the book except a white boy. Said me work was inferior at best, amateurish, the skills of a 5 year old and that after paying for it my fees were absoulutely positively too high. It involved a pair of leather shoes I made and I won't get into everything she said but I said I would look at them to settle this once and for all and to bring them over. Well this woman is like 5 flipping minutes by car from my house and said "well, I can't make it all today but when I do have the time I will call you in advance.

Ok I know we all have lives here but this person is 5 minutes away, just reamed me a new--you know what and now insults me by not taking care of the same day she called! What I guess I want to know is how should I handle this and or how would you handle this. I mean many of you know me, know my work and know I have been in this a very long time, treat every job I do as if I owned the doll myself and many of you now that to some degree I am a respected, honorable, trustworthy artist. This people really hurt me to the core and left me never wanting to work on dolls repair wise ever again.

Today is my check up with my HIV Specialist and i get my last t-cell count and viral load report as well as my check up, hoping everything oges well and i promise to let you all in on the results tommorrow in a post.