trying to cope

OK, I am going to be the first to admit that I simply have not posted as I hate to be one that is always complaining. I have spent the last few days--since the last post actually----trying to find that place where I am one with what is going on, and I simply can't.

For me what makes it so difficult is that repair wise I have gotten very precious little done and the work keeps coming in. There are two jobs I am already one month behind on and several that are due this month that are not even started. I did work yesterday for a brief period of time in my sewing room and got to feeling rather lousy and got up to leave the room and fell again. At least it wasn't down stairs or something just as stupid.

I came down stairs after getting my bearings straightened out after falling and rested--which I have done like the doctor suggested, but we will get back to that in a bit. Sat and watched some television and worked on my "winter project" a counted cross stitch of the "Wizard Of Oz" its the shot of the shoes, the yellow brick road that you see on some DVD covers.

Anyway, Jim came home for like and it was nice, he left to go back to work after his half hour, I went and laid down for my nap--which has become a regular staple since the doctors visit and slept for 5 solid hours. The house could have fell on my head I would have slept through it I swear .

Got up, went to the rest room and went to go lay back down and before getting to the bed, FELL AGAIN---this time in the kitchen. Went and laid down for about another half hour and than slowly and tenderly took the dogs out to go to the bathroom.

Speaking of my dogs--Jackie and Glinda-- they have been a G-d send, so supportive and loving and " I want to be with you, because I know your feeling bad". Both sleeping right beside me the entire time. Its hard for to explain what they and I have been through but having them here makes the world of difference.

So, I would like to have you pray that I am not like this when we leave on Wednesday for our vacation to Chesterton and the Wizard of Oz Festival, and that I am not falling or sleeping through the whole thing.

I am also going to talk with my doctor about the possibility of getting a referral to either the Mayo Clinic or The Cleveland Clinic to be seen by someone to figure out if there is more here than meets the eye. I am not sure if there is or isn't but I do know that right now, for the time being it does have the better of me. Saying alone has not been easy to admit and trying to "live with it" has been even harder.

I have believe it or not tried doing as Eckardt Tolle suggested in those online "New Earth " classes that---this is not who I am it is just what is going on on that this moment--- well as I am sure you can imagine that has been easy either but I continue to try.

I will try to post before we leave on Wednesday and until next time thank you for reading......