What do I say

It has been really hard the last few days to get the inspiration to even sit down and write something here, let alone take the time and effort that goes into finding the images that are used here.  This whole neurological problem unfortunately has gotten the best of me and besides doing what i thought would be rather popular topics readership is in a downward spiral that i out of control.  I am not sure what happened to make it happen or even what made it possible at one point to have 50,000 readers in one month.  If I could figure that out, that is what I would be doing again.

It felt so good knowing I had such a platform of people viewing and looking at and reading what was posted here, but as I have said I wonder if this latest illness has taken my "mojo"

I also wonder if I should use this space for more inspirational itemns, more positive thiinking, more into what it is I am really thinking half the time and what exactly inspires me.  Maybe its too late to ask that question with only around 300 people reading a day?  Besides are they reading the new stuff or the old stuff?  Does anybody have any ideas on what I could do to try to regain some of that previous glory, or am I chasing  a dog that is LONG GONE?

I am walking some better but the pain now is higher than ever, the loss of sensation is just as bad or at the end of my school day even worse and I have said numerous times it has me VERY depressed.  When or can it ever better?  What if the paralysis is permanent?  What if this is the new status quo?  Well I can tell you one thing I know for sure....  I am NOT now or ever quitting school!

It is right now the only thing keeping me going, keeps me inspired and gives me what I need in my life, more than anything else.  I have said here numerous times but I have never wanted anything so badly in my life.