Barry Manilow, New Snow Storm and other stuff

Well last night made up for being really down almost flat for the whole week--Barry Manilow. I bought the tickets months ago and if you drove to the arena in Cleveland when they were on sale--- which is only a 45 minute drive--- they had $10.00 seats. In all honesty they were pretty damn good seats and he sang for 2 solid hours. The other nice thing one he only sang one assortment of Christmas songs and the rest of the concert was all of his standards.

The warm up group was just sheer terrible--they sang awful, were way to loud and the dancers all dressed like whores and danced like strippers at some cheap strip club. And to think they supposedly showcase in Vegas!

But our boy Barry made up for it. We went with lady friends of ours and we had such a nice time. They invited us to dinner at their home before the concert and our visit was just wonderful as well. Didn't get home and in bed till 12:30 a.m. but so freaking what! This song had me an emotional mess last night--crying my head off but it was still my boy Barry. Oy how I love him, big over romantic guy that I am!
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Well that huge snow storm they have been predicting since yesterday has finally hit here around 1:30p.m. today and in under 3 hours we have 4 inches of snow, if we are lucky it (the snow) will last till Christmas is over. As of 6:30 its still snowing. I ran all my errands this morning hoping to miss this storm and I did. It wasn't all that many errands but I really hate driving in a big mess.

No extra funds for any holiday shopping this season unless somebody picks something up from the doll repairs but in all honesty I am not even in the spirit of it yet, sad thing is it may not happen just like I couldn't get into Thanksgiving.

As far as the repairs goes I guess we have decided for now I can not quit entirely as fiscially we can not, and while it has me upset I guess I also understand. I tender to wonder what the hell will happen when I don't have a choice in the matter like now. I will be cutting back considerably almost 1/2 or more as I was not willing to budge on that point at all--as it is what my doctor's want. Jim would like me to cut even more but until I can get at least him paid through the state as "paid care provider" for me that can not and will not happen.

This week emotionally has been one of sheer and utter hell with my being so ill again and then the still pending 5th anniversary of Ron's death--it has been a hell of a ride. At least there are the pain killers I am on for my chest--- that do make me sleep more and keep me dopey--so I really don't have to deal with any of it. There is also 3 other prescriptions fo r this chest thing that cause droziness as well. I have always been one of those--- even on prescription stuff--- I am way out in left field somewhere when taking them--and now I am thankful for it. I know that sounds awful, and I know it sounds dependant but for know it is working and it is all I have.

This season has also brought the very real and very profound realization that boiled down and with all the extras put aside religiously, mentally, spiritually connected and morally I am in the depths of my heart of hearts a Jew. I am in the wrong place at Grace UCC--and how do I tell Jim that, how do I tell the congregation that and how do I make them understand I always have been for the last 20 years plus and always will be. While also being one is nothing terrible--just different--Unique.

I also believe in the depths of my heart of hearts that besides taking sculpting lessons sometime next year that I HAVE to be in the Chaplin Class at Akron Hospital next year as well. Yeah it one 8 hour day a week for a year and yeah I will be a licensed Chaplin when I am done but I also know now that is where G-d wants me. Where he even needs me. I bring something very different and something very unique to the table and I have touched on this before in this blog, but for some reason it all seems so much more real now.

Well until tommorrow--By the way Christina--thanks for th ekind notes and the touching words you keep me inspired.