my test today and thoughts from a Saint

I wanted to share with all of you my readers something I read today out of "Mother Teresa: Come be My light"------ "God can not fill what is full.--He can fill only emptiness--deep poverty--and your "Yes" is the beginning of becoming empty. It is not how much we really "have" to give-but how empty we are--so that we can receive fully in out life and let Him live His life in us..... Does not matter what you feel- as long as He feels alright in you. Take away your eyes from yourself and rejoice that you have nothing--that you are nothing- that you can do nothing. Give G-d a big smile-each time your nothingness frightens you....Just keep the joy of G-d as your strength.--Be happy and at peace.-Accept whatever He gives-and give whatever He takes." Mother Teresa

Well the scan went off rather well today, not nearly what I expected and it didn't take as long as I thought. It actually took longer to get the results and to be seen by my doctor than to have the test done. According to him (my HIV Specialist) the CT Scan came back normal--no sign of anything not even blood clots and that is the reason they rushed the results. He did say it could possibly be a "Zoster Bacterial thingy"--kind of like shingles in some people that may have not manifested itself into splotched.

There is also a possibility that the "Zoster Bacterial thingy" is internal as well. Personally he feels it is a Nerve ending or nerve problem and has me on Lyrica for the next two weeks to help ease the pain and to hopefully get me back to functioning normal. If it is not better by then to call set up an appointment and we will go from there. Which in his opinion would be a pain management person to deal with what is going on.

It does bring some relief to know it is nothing serious, it is however also a little mind blowing--for lack of better words-- that something so "minor" can cause so much pain. It will take a few days for the medication to build up as they say before I notice any change but hopefully and prayerfully they will work.

"G-d makes himself the hungry one, the naked one, the homeless one, the sick one, the one in prison, the lonely one, the unwanted one, and he says : "You did it to me." He is hungry for our love, and this is the hunger of our poor people. This is the hunger that you and I must find, it may be in our own home..... We picked up ( a man) from the drain, half eaten with worms, and we brought him to the home: "I have lived like an animal in the street, but I am going to die like an angel, loved and cared for". And it was so wonderful to the greatness of that man who could speak like that, who could die like that without comparing anything. Like an angel-this is the greatness of our people. And that is why we believe what G-d has said: "I was hungry, I was naked, I was homeless, I was unwanted, unloved, uncared for--and you did it to me." Mother Teresa

I guess I share these thoughts with you because reading them and absorbing them has made me very humble, made me feel to self absorbed in my "own-ness" and my own tragedies and joys, and in many ways more meek. To the point where I feel like I should not speak of anything.

As always I ask that you would continue to pray for me.