At your grave 5 years later

I stood at your grave today
Tears flooded my eyes
for the fifth year in a row
a prayer shawl wrapped
around my shoulders
the cold wind at my kneck
the smell of roses in the air
but none in my hands
or on your grave today
I could hear angel wings
and knew you were there
my emotions and memories speechless
Yet my feelings overwhelming me like
a Drowning sea
Has it been easier accepting
has the pain become any less
It seems only more real