According to Examiner.com

According to Examiner.com
According to the Examiner.com---since 01/09/11

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Sorry For lack of post yesterday

I want to take the time and apologize for not posting yesterday but, emotionally I was in a very dark place and I just didn't want to bring down the overall mood I have been trying to create with this blog.  I guess for me I ust had to much time onmy hands to sit and think.  For some reason yesterday, all I could do was question every decision I have ever made.  There was a good two solids hours were I didn't say a word and just sat and cried.

Like I said way to much time on my hands, and when that happens it seems like emotionally I turn against myself.  Today however seemed a little better, Jim took me out for a short trip looking at antiques and even though nothing really caught my eye I did have such a nice time.  Jim than took me out to lunch at the Olive Garden and I had my favorite all you can eat soup and salad.  Nothing says "feel better" than their Zuppa Toscana. 

The lack of energy is still a big issue and I am sure it will take much more time to fully recover.  In the meantime maybe  I can get some of my back work done or even re-organize my studio if I get a big burst of energy.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Yohji Yamamoto Spring 2011

Yohji Yamamoto became an influential fashion designer after making his Paris debut in 1981. His commercially successful main lines, Yohji Yamamoto (women/men) and Y's, are especially popular in Tokyo. These two lines are also available at his flagship stores in New York, Paris, and Antwerp, and at high-end department stores worldwide. Yohji Yamamoto Inc. reported in 2007 that the sales of Yamamoto's two main lines average above $100 million annually.

Yamamoto is known for an avant-garde spirit in his clothing, frequently creating designs far removed from current trends. His signature oversized silhouettes in black often feature drapery in varying textures.

Yamamoto's work has also become familiar to consumers through his collaborations with other fashion brands, including Adidas (Y-3), Hermès, Mikimoto and Mandarina Duck; and with artists of different genres, such as Sir Elton John, Placebo, Takeshi Kitano, Pina Bausch and Heiner Müller.

What I like about this line for Spring is the touch of the vintage, the "Dandy" if you will.  It in some ways reminds me very much of Oscar Wilde and that type of fellow who took dressing to a whole different level.  It will be interesting to see how these ideas and concepts are translated into what we see on the racks in our department stores but I for one would wear many items pictured here. 

Yamamoto has been quoted as saying: " They must have so many angry young people. Being a fashion designer or an artist, you have to be angry."[4] Of the fashion show he staged in Beijing in spring 2008 to launch this initiative, Yamamoto said, "It's not political. I am going to open a store here, then Chinese people will come and shop there, and then they are happy. The real art is making people happy, but also asking questions about society."

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Rick Owens Spring 2011-- Men's Wear




I did some web searching today for some fashion photographs to show what is in store for us the upcoming season. I ran across the new name to me---Rick Owens who does men's wear, the thing for me is the "men" wearing his things seems like mere "boys" but the clothing comes across as creative, stylish, somewhat avante-garde and there a few things I would absolutely wear.  I would have really have loved to have seen his clothing on a little more "mature and masculine man" it would have been interesting to see how the overall look would have changed.
So if your reading and know anything about Rick Owens please feel free to e-mail me or even respond here and I will share with the rest of my readers.

In the meantime I had my first "in the world again" trip today as I called it. It was to Keillor's Teddy Bear Shop here in Canal Fulton.  Now I know it sounds silly as hell but I have been a big teddy fan since I was a kid.  Still sleep with one actually--I know, I know.  But it was a Steiff event today that she holds yearly with Steiff Expert Dick Franz.  My visit was short as I am still feeling lousy but the bears---oh my just delightful and well I guess you have to love teddy bears to get it.  If your in Canal Fulton I want to encourage you to take the time and visit Keillor's and go home with a new "friend".

I did do some sewing today on a customer job I have.  It felt nice to have needle and thread back in my hands--its in my blood to you could say.  Once a sew-er alwayas a sew-er. Well until next time I am so glad we had this time together.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Some more thoughts today

I don't want this blog to get all negative, blue, depressing and dreary just because I am recovering from pneumonia and meningitis.  So somehow I am going to keep this positive and upbeat and still somehow talk fashion and other things I love.

Our neighbors were in Europe recently on vacation/business and brought home to me the Paris Vogue which included French, Milan and American designers.  I was just stunned but the magazine is just gorgeous and SO many pictures.  Real eye candy when it comes to fashion and so many inspiring items that could be used for my own things down the line.

But for know I just have to get my strength back.  My big accomplishment today was unpacking my school bag and putting away the things I bought for this semester.  It's all in a plastic tote for fall but gosh it was so emotionally hard to do it.  The stuff I owned, and didn't have to buy for the semester, went into my studio and by the time I was done I was drained.  BIG nap.

So you can see why somehow I want to keep it positive and not bore all of you with "the downers".  So until next time I am so glad we had this time together.

It's nice being wrong sometimes...............

( From a draft saved from last week)  Intriguing opening heading huh? Well it is exaclty how I feel. Late last night Jim was going through the mail when he came into the bedroom and asked if I was still up. Answer to that barely, and this was just only 8:30 p.m.

Anyway there is is this letter from Rep. Scott Oelslager, which I thought ok campaign advertising big deal. Well Jim read it

"Dear Charles,

I am pleased to congratulate you on being named to the Dean's List at Kent State University. An intelligent and motivated individual, you have striven to develop your knowledge and skills and have amply demonstrarted your ability to meet challenges with enthusiasm and confidence." Two more brief paragraphs and well I am proven wrong! I DID MAKE THE DEANS LIST!

It is validating in so many ways that all the hard work and sacrifice is paying off. That it is worth while and that if you keep true to yourself it does pay off. I have never been so proud in my life.

HOME

Around 6:30 last night I got home from the hospital as they decided to release me I have some follow up work to do with my HIV Specialist, but the recovery is what is next. To be done at home with lots of rest.

Well with this semester off thats shouldn't be to hard to do as my energy as you can imagine is low. My spirits are low as well but I do have some simple things I want to do while on this break.

The big thing I walked away with was this realization now matter how hard how try, no matter how well my medications are or are not working, no matter how I feel I will never, ever be that "normal healthy person" who doesn't have to think about alot of the things I do. That thouhght was a very hard pill to swallow.

One day at time, one step at a time and that I am LIMITED! Well off to make breakfast and take my pills and until we I see you here next time I am so glad we had this time together.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A HUGE SET BACK

As many of you Monday was the anniversary of the death of the incredible Judy Garland and I meant to write this beautiful poetic prose about what Judy still means to me. But Monday had other plans I went to school and came home feeling the worse I have since I started.

I asked Jim if I had a an hour to lay down before supper and he said I did. We ate, I put my shoes back on and said can we go to Urgi-Care, not far from where we are. They tell me didn't like what they saw and sent me right away to the emergency room. 9 hours I was in a private room with what we were tending to believe was pneumonia possibly meningitis.

It was pneumonia and the mengitis I have that too, the very beginning of it though which I was told is very good. I am on some very heavy anti-boditics and it looks Like I will be here for days I am at

Mercy Medical Center
Charlie Dale Room 796
1320 Mercy Dr. NW
Canton, Ohio 44708

My bed side phone is 330-5796

Friday, June 18, 2010

not so much news today

A very quiet day of homework and rest. I am still not feeling well and the soonest I can get into the doctor is next week Friday. I G-d only knows how I will feel. It just seems to be getting worse. My throat is just so raw and I am beggining to feel like I am losing my voice--oh yeah! Silence is bliss I guess. Tomorrow will be working on my drawing homework and more rest. I just hope I make it till Friday with out any huge meltdowns.

With gay Pride in Cleveland tommorow I feel like I should say something. Gay Pride for the last 19 years has marked for me that I am still here, fighting and that I am winning the war on AIDS. I know June all those years ago I was so sick and then diagnosed in July. So Pride has been all about life and living and not so much about being gay.

This year it has been hard accepting that thinking considering how awful I feel but I do know that somewhere, somehow there is a light at the end of the tunnel and if I can be a positive role model for some one else great. The one thing I want the most though right now is someone like me who has been an PWA (Person with AIDS) for a long time trying to better them themselves as well. It would be nice to have that someone because they would just relate, someone i couldbe brutually honest with and would get it. AIDS at times makes you seem so isolated and alone in many ways. Don't get me wrong I am very grateful for what I have there are just times though you know.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Delay in posts---SCHOOL

The summer semester started Monday and kids I have been busier than a flea at a dog convention.  This has been the first real chance to blog.  I wake up at 5:45 a.m. shower, shave, Jim makes us breakfast, I dress, try to finish up homeowrk and out the door at 6:45 and an hour drive to Kent.  Classes are non-stop and my longest break is 40 minutes for lunch.  I get home at 5:30 p.m., Jim has supper ready I do home work till about till 9 p.m. and than its off to bed.

Some life huh----STILL SICK and can not get into the doctor till next weekFriday and my thorat and chest are killing me.  I am just hoping its not pneumonia, because if it is I have no idea I am going to survive the schedule at school but at this point I feel like I can't drop either.  I guess I ask that you continue to pry that whatever is going on will just go away!  Well till tomorrow--as I have no school again till Monday-- I am so glad we had this time together.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

An apology about the lack of posts

I have to start by saying how badly I feel about missing two days worth of blogging, but kids whatever is going on besides my f&*ked up counts I am not getting over it.  The last two days have been just awful.  Jim drove me down to Amish country as I slept in the back seat.  We met with friend Penny of "Harwood Candles" as she had me do some design work for some labels for this new line of tincan candles she wants to do.  Which I think are going to be very nice--- I would do anything for Penny and I hope she knows that.  I have a few freinds like that, where I would crawl through volcanic lava for them.

We had lunch, Jim drove back and I slept even more.  We went and got the fabirc last night for my first sewing assignment for the semester, which is children's wear.  We came home had left overs for supper and I was in bed by 8 p.m. and slept till 8:30 this morning.  This is NOT ME in any way!

What the hell am I going to do!  Classes begin TOMORROW!  I can't even go the whole day without laying down and with classes from 8:30 to 4:30 I am terrified out of my mind that I am going to end up in the hospital by or before fall because of the schedule.  I can't drop the classes this late in the game I have around $2,400 of my own personal money wrapped into this and without a guarantee of how much I would get back I feel like I have no choice.  For me that might as well be $10,000 considering how hard I worked to get it and now to be this sick is so damn frustrating.

If all else fails I take Fall off and recover, rebuild and regroup but g-d I really don't want that either.  I feel like I have no options.  Jim thinks I will not notice how tired and ill feeling I am once I am back in classes and personally unless my fairy godmother shows up I hope Jim is right.  I guess all I really ask of you my readers is pray that somehow a miracle happens and this just all goes away.  Going to try to get into the doctors if I can Tuesday or Wednesday but it also means missing some classes.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

More Formspring questions

If you could live anywhere in the US, where would you choose?

I have been to San Fransisco twice and ADORED it, and since I love the beach that would
be my choice.

Do you consider yourself a good dancer?

No, but I do follow rather well.

Would you rather be rich or famous?

Rich, as I have been poor my whole life.

What is the oldest piece of clothing you still own and where?

I have some of my father's ties from the 1950's but I would love to find vintage bowties from the 1940's.

If you could become any fictional character who would you be?

Dorothy Gale of the Oz tales, because there are so many adventures.

What celebrity would play you in a movie about your life?

It wouldbe great if it could be Neal Patrick Harris.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

BRAND NEW "Alejandro" Lady Gaga Vido

Ok, fair warning for the weakof heart.  There is some rather slanted sexual references against religion especially Catholicism, sexual gyrtating, simulated self gratification and men in high heel shoes but KIDS this newst Gaga is FIERCE

Two new Formspring.com questions

If you could live in any country, what would it be?

Florence, Italy.  I visited there for 10 days now 19 years ago on a student trip and when I left I just cried and cried anddidn't want to leave.

What is your favorite thing to do in the world?

Believe it or not it is none other than sewing and perferrably hand sewing.  It calms me, centers me and focuses me.  I think I have a soul for couture.  The next would be reading, I love a good book

Dreams of Sarah Jessica Parker

I have said it before many times, and I will say it till the day I die. Our dreams our the gateway to what we want. Our deepest darkest fantasies brought to our eyes in a flicker of a moment that only we see. For it is only in our dreams are we so brazen and open.

Well, last night after going to bed early I was dreaming, I was in this very swank boutique/mall space and who shows up like a goddess in fashions best but none other than Fashionista Sarah Jessica Parker. Well Ms. SJP looked flaswless and was eyeing bags, shoes and scarfs and I introduce myself to her, hand her my card and say "I would love to have the opportunity to make you even more fierce that what you are". She gives me this sly smile looks at the card and just walks away.

Now in this dream she is meandering around still I see her drop my card, I pick it up walk up to her again--I know very brazen huh. Say "You dropped this, and I hope you really give me the chance to work with you. I would crawl threw shards of volcanic embers just to work with you". She gives me that sly smile again and kids that is when I woke up. DAMN it!

I haven't had this kind of a dream in a long time and maybe its a real shot in the dark but g-d only knows if somehow the cosmos and fate will work it out in the meantime. Maybe SJP, will read this . Either way I am ready to be your design boy!  In the meantime I have to get to feeling better.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Scared.........................

Well I have mentioned I have not  been feeling well, well it has been since my doctors appointment now over a week ago.  It isn't so much not feeling well, it more or less has been feeling awful.  Some days much worse than others and with school now about a week ago I am scared needless to say.  I know I made a mistake missing some of my medication doses but I didn't realize what seemed so minor, would be such a royal pain in the ass.

Yet somehow in the madness that is AIDS it is "all manageable" and its just this "chronic illness".  Between the AIDS, the Fibromyalgia, the resless leg syndrome, the arthritis, the neuropathy, the side effects, the fatigue.  It just gets overwheming and very dreary.  Then throw in, what I am so desperately trying to do with school and you can see were my concern comes from.  Hopefully it all passes.

The dress to the left is a current Valentino and caught my eye on line, so I thought I would share.  Isn't it just gorgeous, timeless even.

In response to Gay Pride month, I want to talk some about my experience.  I knew I was "differrent" very early on--like 7 or 8 and my first crush was "Cubbie" from the old Mickey Mouse Club with Annette Funicello.  Which was in re-runs when I was a little kid. By the time I was 11 I knew there was a term for it and I was being called it all the time. I hated my life. I dated girls in highschool but it never went past the first kiss, then I broke it off.

I get really tired of people thinking that I chose this lifestyle, that I could maybe change back, that you aren't born gay.  Well, I know for sure that I was born gay--- I've known no other way.  Its not been easy but at the very least I have been able to be myself.  Well until next time, I am so glad we had this time together.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

7,000 hits, Inspiration


Well it is so hard to believe I have reached 7,000 hits/reads, not sure what I am doing that makes that possible but whatever it is it is right. So for you my readers THANK YOU!  Today I just want to show some photographs that I find stunning and inspiring.  Outfits are by Jean Paul Gaultier.............

  Well until next time I am so glad we had this time together.

Friday, June 4, 2010

A creature of a different species

I am really beginning to wonder if I am some odball, screwed up, over emotional alien from some other planet because it seems like other people look at me as if to say "what are you talking about or have you gone quite mad"?  Here are some examples all said to different family, friends and what not that fit this example......

1. That which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.  So the hardship, the trial, the horror even, helps form the way we think, respond grow and plan is all based on that which doesn't kill us. It molds us and shapes us.

2.  If you are to have a completely honest realtionship you have to be able to say anything, no matter what.  Honesty is what helps build who you were, who you are, who we will be.  By being honest and baring ourselves so openly the responses we get back are just the same thing honest and soul baring,  I personally would give everything to have a completley, brutually honest relationship with just one person. 

3.  True love no matter what, even death, NEVER ends.  It changes, it expands, it grows.  Life also goes on and the things around us change and someone may come into your life and you love them as well.  Not in the same way as the old love but with what there is shared between the new someone and you.  You can never fully duplicate any relationship--that my friend makes any relationship precious almost sacred.  It is just ours.

Well you kind of get the idea hopefully.  Because these ideas when presented they were completely lost on the people I shared them with.  Maybe they just aren't ready to hear it, maybe they all ready know or maybe simply their experience is completely different than mine.  maybe they didn't givea sh&t.  It just today got to be very bothersome today for some reason.  Until next time I am so glad we had this time together.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

My 1st Formspring questions

Do you believe in fate?

I think many times I do, the right people can be broughtinto your life exactly when you need them to inspire you or to have a shoulder to cry on.  Fate also I think crosses many things and is not necessarily just faith based.

What is your proudest accomplishment?

I would have to say that would be speaking at the National AIDS Update Conference in San Fransisco on main floor, which means speaking in front of 3,500 people.  My proudest and one of my scariest.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Welcome June

Welcome the month of June, doesn't seem that late in to the 2010 year does it. So much goes on in June too.  School starts up on the 14th, June is the anniversary of both Judy Garland's birth and death.  Gay Pride is in the month of June and the anniversary of the Stonewall.  For some people it means graduation parties to attend, weddings to be at and for me my nephew's birthday.  School by itself will keep me very busy I know that for sure.  I want today and two of five books I need for the semester.

I want to give a brief book review.  Something I just finished and is a "Fashion Inside Out" he basically walks you through every step of the process from idea to selling it.  Beautifully photographed and incredibly laid out I feel this is a must have for a serious fashion library.  I found mine on E-bay for $40.  He talks about a lot of trade secrets to and includes how you can do it yourself as well which is a priceless addition to your skills. So you may want to try to find this for yourself.

I really want to encourage you me of my readers to take advantage of the formspring form and to ask me anything and even ask anonymously if you like--it may give all of you my readers a better glimpse into you I am and how I think.

Well I am back on my feet my posts maybe short and hopefully this doesn't go on forever.  So until next time I am so glad we had this together.