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Thursday, March 8, 2012

Tests tomorrow

I have to admit I am nervous about tomorrow. I have scheduled first thing in the morning an MRI/CAT scan of my head as I have been having horrible migraines for over a month now.  Some times it causes dizziness and so far thankfully I have not fallen but I am back to walking at times with a cane because my balance is so screwed up.  I think the scans are precautionary because of the three spots that were found last April on the right side of my brain and that they have not advanced into something more is what they are being cautionary about.

It however does not make me feel any better about the whole thing and more than likely will not until I have the test results back and everything is normal.  If everything is normal my question than will be what is causing the headaches and how do I get rid of them.  Needless to say, other than the four days in Chicago, I have been VERY depressed and I seem disconnected from many things--my own life being one of them.  It is like I am watching myself on screen and it is not even me that I am watching I know that sounds odd but that my gentle reader is how it feels.

Creatively it seems like I have not had the time to do anything including my favorite thing--sewing, especially hand sewing.  Don;t get me wrong I have two projects I could be working on as we speak but I just don;t have the time and maybe that is why I feel so disconnected.  Of course the biggest joy in my life is my four dogs, which always bring a smile to my face, a warm welcome home as I walk in the door and four little souls just happy to "see their daddy".

School has been hectic, the homework a bit above normal levels or so it seems and maybe part of it is I have not been myself for almost two months now.  But I keep pressing forward and somehow I manage to stay on top of everything.  I also have started my thesis work this semester as well as trying to start the process of where I want to go to graduate school, which could be a whole blog entry into itself.  Again it has made this semester different than anyother but again somehow I stay on top of all of it.

I go sometime next week into Cleveland for blood-work as it is that time again for all of that "happiness' and hopefully cd4's, t-cells and everything else are all doing well but as a long term survivor it is always in thje back of my mind.  Well until next time...

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