Lack of postings

 I am really sorry for the lack of postings over the last few days but I have been in a real funk, depressed if you will.  A lot of it has to do with the MRI last week, no results as of yet but the new medications I am on I hate the results I am having on them--to put it politely erectile dysfunction.  I feel like I have lost my masculinity as well as my over all self.  Who am I?  What makes me happy? Why am I so depressed? What can I do about it?  Besides all of this I feel as if right now I have nothing really to say and if I did only a few people are really listening, and for those few I appreciate it and love you for it.  What I think I need is some time by myself a vacation maybe, like that is ever going to happen anytime soon.

How do I cope? Why is this so troublesome? Why do I feel so alone all the time?  I do I feel so unhuman here lately, as if nobody sees me?  Maybe its the start of a depression because I have been ill for 20 years in July when in my opinion I should be rejoicing, its like I have lost myself somewhere along the way and I hate who the "I" has become.

Anybody with any advice?