I try to keep it encouraging, upbeat and most of all I try my best to keep it real. The struggle for me this month has been my lack of self confidence more than normal and my trying to get over it as they say. It has been painful, all to real and in many ways probably holds me back.
I am tired of it, I no longer want to be in my own way. I want all of the possibilities for me to happen, all the doors to open and to be the best possible me I can be. Go where I need to go, be who I need to be and do what I need to do. The sky I am finding out is the limit. The last week has been the hardest because I want the summer semester to be here already. Summer semester for me means Studio Fashion classes and I don't want to wait any longer to be in them.
I know G-d is going to provide the 5 students besides my self we need for the class to happen and I know I am going to do the best I can when I get there, it is "just the getting there" as they say. Right now over all I know i Have a good solid B in my classes and that is where I will find my confidence. As of today I am going to claim it outright! It is past time I do. Until next time, I am so glad we had this time together.
1 comment:
Charlie,
I think that perfectionist are their own worst enemies. And most artists I know are perfectionists. I know because I am one and it has cost me a great deal of joy too in my life. Not wanting company to come visit for example because the house wasn't perfectly clean, not finishing a vision of some outfit because I thought it would not be perfect. Sometimes it is in the mistakes we find the perfect design, the perfect vision. But if we hold back out of fear we never get to see what we are capable of accomplishing.
Getting ill I had to give up on a lot of my perfectionist attitudes because I could no longer control how clean the house was because someone else had to clean it. I found I wasted a lot of opportunities for happiness that had come my way because I was afraid of feeling like a failure.
We sabotage our own success out of fear of failure before we ever attempt a project. I have done it myself in the past too.
One thing I found that helps is to just jump in and "do it". Don't concentrate on the end results so much as the ride.
Enjoy the roller coaster ride in life for it ends all too suddenly. Think how boring a roller coaster would be if it just went on a flat surface going at a safe speed.It might be safe, there may not be any anxiety over that ride because there would be no insecurity or fear of failure taking out the "what if's" but how boring, a journey it would be!
The ups and downs are what make life's journey so exciting. Entering a fashion contest can be very stressful but it is the difficulty going up that ride that makes riding down the coaster with the wind in your hair and your hand holding the prize in so exciting. So very, very worth it.
So don't look at the ride with the scary bumps ahead as the thing that holds you back. Look at the ride in life and the scary parts being the thing that takes you to the amazing view at the top that makes the journey in life so amazing!
Carpe Diem! Seize the day and don't fret the small stuff, for it won't matter when we're gone anyway.
Sending my love!
Christina
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