Precious...Life's lessons

Every now and then I read something non-Oz and every now and then it changes everything I know.  "Precious" by Sapphire did that for me, it changed my outlook.

If you are unfamiliar with the story it is about a 16 year old illiterate African American girl who happens to be pregnant for the second time.  Her pregnancy is the result of her being sexually molested by her father. If that were not enough in itself the same girls first child is born mongoloid and is raised by her grandmother even though Precious' mother receives Welfore for both of them.

The story is told in an illiterate written language that drives the story even harser than what it would have been written normally.  It is like sitting and speaking with Precious.  She is not only molested by  her father but molested and abused by her monster mother, who makes Joan Crawford look like June Cleaver.  This story is filled with obsenties and not for the faint of heart or the conservative reader, but for the reader that wants their world turn upside down, inside out and left feeling G-d did I just read that.

Overweight, pregnant, illiterate, beaten and trying to get her GED Precious rises from the ashes of her personal hell to tell her story and even when the trauma of finding out her father has died of AIDS.  She than finds out she has it as well, 16 years old and in the 1980's with AIDS!  This story was heart wrenching beyond words yet so powerful, like I said it changed everything.

Growing up gay in a southern conseravive baptist family was not easy by any means, telling that family I had AIDS now almost 19 years ago was no walk in the park.  But I guess the brave fight for their lives, and struggle on because this guy fought the fight of his life to get to where he is today.

From poverty and a "white trash domestic violent" background I grew because I had to become who I knew I really was.  I hate where I come from, I rarely speak of it, so to let all of you in is brave in my eyes--it exposes the truth and it exposes my past.  Raped at 21, months after losing my first partner to AIDS and ending up in a Rehab facility because of an attempted overdose my story could be very similar to Precious' story one of extreme hardship and one of survival at all costs.  From a private christian school which was not accredited by the state of Ohio,  I am now a 3.3 GPA college student.

I fight to be the man I want to be, I fight to be the man I know I am---Gay, proud, educated, working in fashion and being successful beyond my wildest dreams.  The beginning of that dream has begun, maybe a little late in my life but so &*^%#&% what, at least I am doing it and at least I am trying.  I have a purpose, I have a passion, I have a reason to drag my ass out of bed and kids that reason is ME!

I share all of this with you because I want all of you to realize it doesn't matter what your story is, where you have been, what has happened to you and what you have survived.  The story is you did survive and that yout trying to move on, getting your ass out of bed every day and moving on with your life .  No matter how sick physically we are, how ill spiritually or mentally we can "still have a life" and we can still accomplish and kids that took a long time for me to realize!  I want to encourage you to do the same accomplish, plan, dream and DREAM BIG . The only one that can change it is you and darlings you deserve it.  Until next time I am so glad we had this time together.