Sunday, December 11, 2011
December 11th- Anniversary
Somehow that day has now become NINE painful years later. It is hard sitting here talking about this, all this time later but what very few GET is how this one single event still plays itself out in everyday life.
There isn't a day that goes by without my thinking about him in someway shape for form. What would he be doing, what would he be saying, what would he be thinking? Would we still be involved battling AIDS as much as we were? I do know one thing we would still be together, no doubt about it.
I was in our old neigborhood , this last week; to have my quarterly blood-work and the house is till empty, the owner has apparently abandoned it and moved back to Belguim. The windows and doors are all boarded up and---I stood on our old porch longing to go in just one more time. Longing to be in the dining room where he died, leaving me for ever...the pain has not gotten any easier. Tears flooded my eyes as I remembered standing in the street barefoot, in my jammies watching them load the gurney into the hearse, the windhowling and snow screaming in the wind.