Lady Gaga Cries for Her Gays, Used to Put a Lot of ‘Judy’ Up Her Nose

Mother Monster is a friend of Dorothy and former drug addict, just like Judy! In Vanity Fair‘s latest issue, Stefani Germanotta gets the cover story treatment from writer Lisa Robinson, and it’s a doozy.

When she’s not showing her nipples to Tony Bennett or wearing two-foot-tall platform heels in East Village laundromats, she’s crying about her poor bullied gays and talking about how “Judy” was a codename she and her friends used to call cocaine.

The full story’s not online yet—we supposed the clever folks over at Conde Nast are trying to make you, like, buy the issue, but here’s some potent quotables that Yours Truly typed up for you little monsters:

[Lady Gaga's mother] Cynthia shows me three large U.P.S. boxes full of fan mail in the living room that she gets for Gaga every week. I read aloud an e-mail a Gaga fan sent me—12-year-old Maddie P., from Maine. She wrote that Gaga inspired her to help a boy in her school who had been harshly bullied for being gay. Gaga held her mother’s hand while listening to this and tears rolled down her cheeks. Cynthia shows me a letter from the White House commending Lady Gaga for her work on behalf of abolishing “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” and then says that she’ll head up Gaga’s new Born This Way Foundation—a charity that will empower youth, with an emphasis on anti-bullying.

Though her somewhat histrionic moments of I-love-my-gays-so-much-I-have-to-cry-for-them come off as a bit patronizing to me, I’m happy to have such a powerful ally in the fight for gay rights. She also refused a six-figure fee for performing at the Robin Hood Foundation last May, which is commendable. Later on in the article, Gaga discusses her politics candidly:

“I care about gay marriage. I care about immigration. I care about eduction. I care about families and what is taught in schools and what is taught at home. And I feel liberated by my ability to be political with no political affiliation.”

Guess she’s not a partisan Democrat then, though I’ve never seen her champion a conservative issue. She hasn’t spoken up on legalizing drugs, but she certainly used to use them. The writer tags along with Gaga’s friend Breedlove to a Lower East Side bar VF calls the Johnsons, but to me is called Welcome to the Johnsons. Anyway, Gaga orders a shot of Jameson and conversation gets druggy:

Breedlove talks about how they used to kill time in this very bar all day “waiting for Judy,” their code name for cocaine. Gaga talks about how she woke up one day on her tour bus and realized what an idiot she’d been and never touched the drug again.