Newest ATC Cards

Ok this set was made for the ATC Newbie's Group I belong to and it was Gingerbread People, gingerbread making, gingerbread eating--well you get the idea

The first two use coffee filters, acrylic paints, rubber stmaps, inks, stickers, varnish, pop dots and paper piecing. Of the three my favorite is the one with the plate of cookies

This piece was hand drawn and used markers, chalk and a fixative spray.

This last one I think is one of my best It is the ATC gift I am giving the hostess of this swap, won't she be surprised! It uses coffee filters, acrylic paints, antique page from a book, rubberstamp ink, wing stickers, Japanese Rice paper, Antique photo and varnish. It seemed once I did those Christmas Fairies a few days back I was inspired to do more fairies. Hope she lies it.

A slap upside my head

I want to share part of a private letter I got from a very dear man and a great freind of mine John Fricke--which was my wake up call, my slap upside my head. If you receieve e-mail from you then you recognize.....

"Yeah, it's sad, believe me missy, When you're born to be a sissy, Without the vim and verve. But I could show my prowess,Be a lion not a mowess, If I only had the nerve.I'm afraid there's no denyin' I'm just a dandelionA fate I don't deserve.

Which I close all my e-mails with

......I have a question. Is there a reason all your emails -- private and public -- conclude with the partial lyric from "If I Only Had the Nerve"? It's a great song, no question...but given the fact that you're such a survivor and a triumphant human being in terms of your talent and your personal life and your achievements, I just find it oddly negative. It's nothing at ALL that I would ever associate with you; you need to find a lyric about a champion!

John F.

I decided to share that letter and my response to it because I felt it fit a thread of thought I have had since yesterday's post.

My Dear John:

I picked that lyric at the time because I thought I associated with it quiet a bit. Living as long as I have with AIDS I have felt off and on that it has been a life in fear, never the courage to live and do the things I would really love to do. I have felt so shut out at times, and left out at times and on the edge of life itself many times. Never the money to not worry like I do about the future if something should happen.

It seems like I never give myself enough credit for the things I have done, I continue to do and the goals I want to reach before the end of it.

I have never had the confidence in myself for what I really wanted, and I have never had the family support I needed to feel like I could do it on my own, I have always put myself last. It is Jim to a large degree that has made realize the talent that is there along with the skill. Made me think what do I really want.
John, I never thought nearly 18 years this July 16th that I would live this long and the plans I had at one time all died when I found out that it was AIDS, my life has never been the same. It has made me into who I am but to a large degree I feel like I have settled for less many times. Sometimes for the good and some times for the bad.

.......the last two months I have been seriously thinking of going back to college but I am so torn about what to take--my heart ADORES fashion, my mind says I want to write because I feel at many times I have no voice at all, but I have no idea what to write........

Being at the festival and meeting all of the incredible people there--and three of the biggest influences on me were Danny Windsor-- because of where he has been and what he has seen.

Michael Siewert- because of his love of clothes and primarily Judy's and you. You have made yourself into someone who does what he loves for a living--write, talk and educate about Judy. It didn't dawn on me at the time what a role you play in "Judy"-- I didn't realize there were the "talks" before some of her movies out on DVD......

My heart and my soul have not been the same since the festival. All I think about it is Judy, all I listen to is Judy, all I want to learn about is Judy, all I buy is Judy--I have fallen in love with Judy like never before, the only place I am finding peace is in the room I have set up with my Judy items in it.........

Between the festival and Michael and you it has been nothing but Judy ever since...... Sorry to have rambled.

Always Charlie

Happy Thanksgiving

Subtle Hate--Homphobia among us-- A RANT

Well after a conversation with my mother this early evening I had to go somewhere and rant and I guess this is my space to do.

It was an innocent enough phone call about what time they are coming tomorrow for dinner as Jim is working till 3--well that phone call took the wind out of me literally. I started innocently with my aunt "supposedly asking about me. We have not spoken in 2 years because " I am that diseased faggot" you know and she might catch it if she happens to breath the same air I happen to be breathing. Her words there not mine.\

I said I found that hard to believe as the last conversation with my aunt she said I should leave Jim, marry some nice girl and have three kids. So I said that to my mom and she said" Well I could hope for you to do that someday, but you would probably be miserable--but I would be happy". I couldn't believe it!

I know things have changed since her two strokes but this issue of my being gay and having AIDS has seemed to resurface on a fairly regular basis and I for the life of me can not understand why.

I have been out since I was 21 years old, have had AIDS now 18 years in July and have had a decent, hard working, loving devoted man in my life all but for 3 years of that time! But more could I want!

I feel like I could solve world poverty, end world hunger, eradicate prejudice, end the financial depression we are in as a world and heal the sick, raise the dead and walk water but none of it would matter as I would still be "that diseased faggot".

I didn't wake up one day and choose to "Be this"--I did choose to accept who I was, I did choose the men in my life, I did choose to try to treat myself better to try to survive longer living with a killer disease and all for what? Is it subtle hate? Is it over reaction.

It is just a shame that they can't love me for who I am and what I have and realize I do matter---I'M DONE!

Newest ATC cards

Ok, I have been a creating fool here lately, these darn little ATC cards . I am signed up for so many swaps right now it is unreal but hey I am having fun.

This set is for the ATC Newbies group I belong to and the theme was SNOW--snow men, snowflakes, snowball fights, activities you can do in snow--you get the idea. It was a 3 for 3 swap but I decided to do 5 since the ideas wouldn't stop.

The things I used was stickers, coffee filters, acrylic paint, silver lace, varnish, satin ribbon, Tulle, markers, one was hand drawn, embossing powder, crocheted snowflakes I found and finally Modge Podge. What a list of supplies!!

After all that snow, I made a RAK (Random Act of Kindess) ATC for our hostess for the swap and I had to do something warmer , anyway I do hope you all enjoy some of the newest cards and hopefully they find good homes

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For All you ATC lovers--new ATC's

This first group of ATC's is for the website ATC's for All and the theme was "Christmas Fairies".... so yours truly had a little fun with the theme.... this set I used Antique Christmas card as the background, glitter, newsprint, stickers, Vellum paper, sticker wings, Liquid Applique, bards and Varnish

The second set is for the Yahoo Group ATC Newbies and the them was "Christmas Around The World"... I took it as an idea to make postcard style ATC's which I have to say turned out really nice. I used Antique Christmas cards, newsprint, glitter, Liquid Applique coffee filter, Acrylic Paint, stickers, newsrint, varnish, rubber stamps, vintage book page, markers and varnish to make these cards. Out of this set my favorite card is the "Merry Christmas from Paris"

New things added in my collection

Well gang not to much new on the home front here when it comes to personal news so I thought I would share some of my newest E-bay finds with all of you.

The first is original sheet music from "Meet Me In St. Louise" and is the "Trolley Song", this was a nice find as it was very inexpensive.

The second is another souvenir program from when Judy was doing concerst most iof the interior photogrpahs are the same but the cover one was so beautiful I could not pass.



Work wise it has been hard but struggle I do, I have to take one whole day to catch up on my doll work, the only thing that keeps me going is my winter Cross stitch project which I will share when it is done and my ATC's. I was thinking of starting another blog just for my ATC's what does everybody think? I have a few ideas what to call it but not sure if it would be worth the effort to do a seperate blog or not.

For all you ART lovers---ATC's

Well gang as many of you know that read this blog I am just GAGA over ATC's (Artists Trading Cards) ever since our Everything Oz club did them I have been hooked big time and been signing up for swaps left and right.

Right now I belong to 3 sites they are:

ATC's For All-----http://www.atcsforall.com/
ATC Newbies-----http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ATCnewbies/
ATCs For Everyone----http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ATCs_4_Everyone/

So for you I am going to share some of my lovlies........This first set is for "Snowflakes" for ATC's For All

This second was for a swap I though I had signed up for and I had not and then when I saw the rules I didn't follow them either talk about blonde moment--so these are available for teh time being till they find a home....

Some things

I want to start with what happening here.....Well yesterday was really rough here, as in my hands were really bad. One of the worst days I have had in a few weeks. The soreness , tingling, burning and loss of feeling was through the roof! Add into this mix some really intense trembling--think sever Parkinson's and you get the visual idea.

I wasn't able to get much done at all and actually just to get my mind off of it for a while went and saw the Christmas decorations at our local mall. I know there isn't anything anybody can do about it but at times it does get to be a little much.

I also don't want people who read this blog to think by any means that I am bragging about the new "Oz or Judy" items I am getting because that is not my intention.

1#. I want people to enjoy seeing my collection. I have even had someone ask to show pictures of the room I have this stuff set up in, which I may do.

2#. I want people to realize what is out there. When I started I had no idea what was available and some of it as inexpensively as I have gotten it. There seemed to be so many sites talking about other collectibles but very few Oz sites and even fewer Judy sites.

3#. Finally I wanted to share in my joy, the fun and the excitement of the "hunt " and the "find" of the items I get. I know --as some friends have pointed out--I am obsessed with Judy to the point it is a little well as they said "weird". But I am hoping that those of you who love Oz and Judy as much as I do understand exactly where I am coming from.

So with those things in mind-- I got yesterday in the mail--courtesy of E-bay Original Sheet music from "Thousands Cheer" and the song believe it or not is called "I Dug A Ditch In Wichita" lyrics by Lew Brown and Ralph Freed and music by Burton Lane. This movie is now on my list of movies to see--as I have not.

And I finally got around to watching my other purchase with my baby sitting money "Easter Parade'. Now granted I have seen this before but it was nice as there was the extra added bonus features which I had not including an interview with Fred Astaire's daughter! Very cool to say the least.


The other thing I wanted to add was the ending where Judy is in that great hat and dress--is that friend of mine Micheal Siewert owns that dress and had it at the Oz Festival. It was one of the dresses I actually got to handle. Anyway at the end of the movie during that scene I was just crying and crying and crying--simply because it hit me I was that close to Judy--having Judy if you will in my hands.

I wouldn't know what I would do if I owned that dress like Michael does, I would probably be crying all the time . Hell I would be crying even if it was say a scrap of it . But I am grateful to Michael who does the "festival circuit" and shows the masses those dresses. Michael if your reading this WE--Judy's fans--LOVE YOU for it.

Some things

I want to start with what happening here.....Well yesterday was really rough here, as in my hnads

A doggie update and other stuff

Sorry gang it has been a few days since posting but it has been very busy since Thursday of last week as my newest dog--Toto. She had her jaw finally fixed. The vet said it was broke about 8 months and the jagged bones you have when a break occurs were rubbed smooth, which will make the healing process longer.

The main vein that supplies blood to the teeth was also severed so she lost a lot of teeth on the right side. The muscles on the side that was broke are all extended and the side that wasn't are all tight because it was broke for so long, but that wil change now that it is fixed.

I was so mad at the previous owner I could have just spit. She is on medication and IV fluid once a day but surpisingly she is doing very well. But I have also kept a very close eye on her too

As far as my newest items to my collection go I bought last week--ordered actually "Pigskin Parade" from Best Buy and finally got a chance to sit down and watch it. It was one of the items I bought with the money I earned Baby sitting. IT was Jud's very first film role to speak of and was released in 1936 which was 3 years before Oz. What was a nice added bonus was the reproduction lobby cards included with the DVD. It was again one of Judy's movies I HAD NEVER seen.

The second item was courtesy E-bay--you have to love them--a December 1945 issue of "Movie Star Parade" with Our Judy on the cover, inside is a delightful two page story about "The Harvey Girls". The magazine is very fragile as some of the pages tear easily and are browned but what a wonderful find for me wish I had paid the original fifteen cents!!



Finally the last piece I am going to post about today is original 1947 Sheet Music from "Easter Parade"----"It Only Happens When I Dance With You" starring Judy Garland, Fred Astaire, Peter Lawford and Ann Miller. Again this was in thanks to E-bay and for I might add a song and a dance--ba dump bump

Ok, now after seeing this I REALLY HAVE TO GO "Over the Rainbow" if partial nudity is not your thing be forwarned! But gosh these guys are gorgeous!!!

42 years----

Well gang its here my 42nd birthday and to be honest with you I seem more depressed this year than the last two years. I was the only one at 24 who with a group of friends who found out we had AIDS, who lived to see 40. I seem to be wondering this year more than others why? I didn't think it wasn't so much of an issue the last two years as I have been so grateful just to have lived this long--gosh I need a shrink.

I did have this incredible dream last night though where I got to meet and speak with JUDY!!! It was this private intimate thing in a room, which may have been her home but we talked about her concerts, her movies, her life, her children and how saddened she was to see so many people suffering and dying from AIDS. She was so warm and funny and held my hand most of the time we talked.

The dream changed and I was in her London home very shortly after she died--the same day even I think and Mickey Deans has asked a few of her closeest and dearest friends--me one of them --to the house to have a few of her things. I had shoes, dresses, purses, hats and even jewelry. The dress in the dream I remember most is this red one with MArabou feathers at the bottom she wore at her last concert in Copenhagen.

The dream changed again and I was in Campbell's Funeral Home and Joe Luft (as a child) was holding my hand as we walked toward the casket , my sobbing uncontrollably, as we reached the point were I could almost see in I woke up.

I was in a cold sweat--almost like night sweats and crying, then all of a sudden out of the middle of no where at 2:30 in the morning I heard Judy singing "What Will I Do"



It was as if Judy was saying---Happy Birthday Kid!

Legally Blonde and new acquisitions

Well gang Jim and I saw "Legally Blonde: The Musical"last night, it is part of our season tickets to Cleveland Playhouse that we bought late last year. Even if they were the cheap seats and we are still making the payments on the package, the show as a whole was just incredible and wonderfully funny. We also did the pre-show and after show talks as well which gave incredible information about the show. If it comes to your area I highly recommend it!

As far as some of my newest acquisitions to my growing Judy Garland/Wizard of Oz collection--they are from E-bay as I have been slowly selling some of my dolls on E-bay as well. I know I should pocket the money but I just love Judy so!

The first piece is an original 1963 Movie poster from "A Child Is Waiting" which stars Burt Lancaster and Judy Garland. Judy plays a teacher for Mentally Retarded children, one only a few serious roles she played. Unfortunately, I haven't seen the movie as of yet but it is on my list of MUST sees.

The next piece is a China plate which is the second in the "Celebrity Clowns" Series from an original painting by Jon Helland It is numbered 3432 of 12,500 plates by American Heritage Fine China It measures approx. 10 1/4" in diameter.

I have done a new painting, actually a caricature of Judy which I have to photograph and post here, it is hanging in my "Judy Shrine" as Jim calls it and there is also a new yellow rose Christmas wreath hanging on the door to the room as Yellow Roses was Judy's favorite. Well till next time......

Newest items and other news

Well we here in Ohio have had a few snow flurries and for us--being Jim and I-- we haven't any real snow stick to speak of. However where my mom and dad live in the heart of the snow belt they have had 9 inches already!

Work wise things have been very busy, babysitting the neighbor boys has kept me busy as well and got $70 in my pocket. Will be sharing over the next few days what I bought with it--four guesses what it involves .

I am going to be honest here and say that my collecting Judy has really become an obession--there is not a day that goes by where I do not find myself thinking about her, watching part of one of her movies I own or listening to her CD's or even even humming one of her songs. I know its going to be a love affair that will last till I die. There is just something that draws me closer and closer--I just want to know her everyway I can.


Some of my newest items to my ever growing collection is the DVD movie Judgement of Nuremburg starring Spencer Tracy, Burt Lancaster, Richard Widmark, Marlene Dietrich, Judy of course, Maximilian Schell and Montgomery Clift.



Judy has maybe only 6 or 7 minutes on screen but in my opinion it is one of the most powerful performances given. She palys a Haus Frau who as a girl was accussed of having an intimate affair with a Jewish man. The man was killed for it, even though it was not true.


The second piece is what I would call a "program" of photographs and story that may have been available at Judy's concerts. This item Jim actually bought me for my birthday. It has 16 pages and 45 amazing photographs, some of which I have never seen before.

I ask that you all join me tomorrow praying as my newest dog Toto goes to have surgery one her jaw--somewhere along the way the previous owner broke her jaw. The surgery involves them wiring the bone back together. She will be at the vet overnight before she comes home to her daddies. Well gang till tomorrow---I'm always chasing rainbows--especially to techno music!

Another movie addition to my small but growing collection of Judy movies. Starring Jimmy Stewart, Judy Garland, Hedy Lamarr and Lana Turner. "Ziegfeld Girl" was released in 1941.

Judy plays the role of the born in a trunk vaudevilian, a role that was very close to here own life. What was a wonderful surprise was the intorduction by the ever popular and handsome John Fricke--a man I can call friend! It is nice that anytime I want I can pop in the DVD and see and hear John and won't have to wait till September 20009 for the Wizard Of Oz Festival to do so.

This makes another movie in the Judy repoitire that I had not seen since before and now having seen it it is one of my favorites because of the incredibly beautiful costumes in this movie. Everybody knows how this boy just loves his costumes! Direct from the movie-- a samll taste of what you are in for!!

Palladium and other news

Well I want to start off by saying I am sorry it has been a few days since posting but it has been very busy here--house work, the class I am in, and babysitting the neighbor boys who are 6 and 8. I also want to ask that you all keep me in your prayers as I fell again last night, this time in the kitchen. It was another one of those dizzy fainting spells and i am hoping it isn't anything to serious.

April 5th, 1951 Judy arrives in London to perform her first comeback. April 9th, 1951 Judy opens her new show which is performed twice nightly with Wednesday and Saturday matinees.

Whilst no newcomer, it had been a number of years since Judy had been in a variety show (vaudeville). On The bill with Judy were Max Bygraves, Bedini Troupe, Frances Duncan, and The Debonaires. Judy is pictured here back-stage for her 1st Night in 1951.
After the overture, Judy swept onto the stage. Full of nervous energy, Judy twirled round, slipped and fell over, falling onto her bottom. In subsequent performances Judy was confident and strode on. She opened with "Here I Am", followed by songs Judy had sang in her films, and a couple of "new" songs: "Love Is Sweeping The Country" and "Limehouse Blues". A tremendous success Judy thrilled the packed house, time after time to wild applause. Judy was at the Palladium for 4 weeks.

I only mention all of this as one of my newest items I added to my collection courtesy of E-bay is the program from that concert. For me it is a piece of history and Judy at the top of her game.

Okay I know this isn't from 1951 but I couldn't find anything on Youtube frm then so hopefully this will give you a sense of the magic.

For Me and My Gal

Well I went out yesterday and bought "For Me and My Gal" on DVD for myself for my birthday on the 16th of this month and actually sat and watched it earlier today--first time I had ever seen it. What was hard for me to imagine was that the swimsuit number with Judy and the outfit she wore, Michael Siewert owns that outfit adn I actually got to hold it in my fingers. Watching the movie in that part I actually cried, that I was that close to Judy--my idol.

I have some other new things Judy related I am getting in the next few days courtesy of E-bay--you have to love them honestly you do. Of course I will share them here with all of you. I can say too everything here lately I have bought has been because of dolls I have sold on E-bay, whichcomes in nice as it isn't really money out of pocket

This piece was an E-bay buy as well and for a song and a dance and I only bought it because of the beautiful artwork on the envelope as I already have a first day issue, but it was that wonderful artwork that sold me as they say.



Now don;t forget to buy your War Bonds!

Newest ATC's

This set was done for the "ATC's for All Group" and the theme was Vintage Trash to Treasure so my cards included Antique photos, antique lace, antique page from a book, brads, yarn, ribbon, peral, clear pop dots, Japanese paper, Modge Podge and I think the most clever was teh portrait f Bette Davis in Black and white that is on the sheets of Postage stamps right now!

OK these three are ATC's of course and for the "ATC's For All Group" I belong to the theme for this swap was "Self Portrait"--which I guess you would call these except these guys have hair--and I doon't . They are hand drawn and done in colored pencil and marker.