Thought for the day: Trust

"To be trusted is agreater compliment than being loved" 
George MacDonald

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”
Walter Anderson

“When mistrust comes in, love goes out.”
An Irish saying

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it's the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friend." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The glue that holds all relationships together - including the relationship between; the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity." BrianTracy

How does one to beginto trust when that trust is repeatedly threatened by someones actions?  Does someone eve try wen that same hold hurt  keep reoccuring over and over again.  When is enough, enough and you surrender and say no more.

How can you buid anything kind of freindship, relationship, kinship, fellowship or anything else when the trust has been repeatedly and consitently broken?  How much hurt is the heart to bear?  How much grief is enough before you become a candidate for martyrdom?

When is the line drawn and we say no more?  No more believeing the lies, no more listening to flasehoods and empty apologies that underneath mena nothing when you repeat your actions again.

Where is the remorse?  Where is the sorrow?  How does rebuild trust when it has been completely destroyed?

Thought for the day

The new semester has started, and believe it or not I am swamped more than any other semester so far.  Three new computer programs to learn for three of my classes. Spanish One has been the hardest but starting next week I have a tutor--hurrah.  I have never had a foreign language class, not even in highschool. When I was in higshool now nearly thirty years ago you could opt out of foreigh language and that is what I opted to do at the time, now which turns out to be a BIG mistake. Needless to say I am terrified that not only am I not going to learn Spanish, but that I am going to look like an old fool in the process.

This semester also has me beginning my Honors Thesis which is on gays in the Holcaust and will be this Creative Nonfiction piece that I am so excited about. I have a fair amount of research to do and by the end of this semester in thirteen weeks I have a bibliography, a perspectous and a general outline of what will become at least one hundred pages.  The other goal I have is turn this project into a book, that I will be so thrilled to see on the shelf in a bookstore.

The other thing I am really looking forward to working on the Canto staff, which is a literarture publication we have on campus.  Our first meeting is next week and I am really looking forward to finding out exactly what I will be doing.

Thoughts of the day..............

I know I have gotten really bad about the Who's Who in Fashion postings I was doing there for a while and I swear I will get back to them.  Things have been kinda chaotic with school but I do love it, it feels like I am really accomplishing something very worth while.  I have to go on record and say though that I think I am in serious trouble with Core Math1.  Out of 154 I scored 24, I know seriously screwed.  Its all online, brand new and my class is among the very first to be using it on the Kent State Stark Campus.  No pressure there .  We have five weeks to learn 90% of the principles and score a 73% or higher to pass.  I have the feeling I am going to take a hit.  Going to check into a Math tutor today after History of Civilization 1.  So keep me in your thoughts as I struggle through Algebra.

My other topic today is Walmart!  I very rarely go there and buy even less.  But last week there was this adorable clock that I thought went beautifully in my freshly repainted studio.  Well the fucker doesn't work!  $20 and the damn thing doesn't work!  The damn thing is going back today for a full refund and G-d as my witness I am NEVER stepping a foot in another g-d damn Walmart as long as I fricking live!  There I spoke my peace.

Speaking of my studio, I actually have two spaces which is really nice.  The larger one which has my drawing table, sewing machine and a big work table needs organized badly.  Maybe today after History class if the weather isn't gorgeous.  Been spending as much time as I can outdoors which has been nice and the dogs love it too.  Well will be posting later today as well---fashion and of course maybe some men, the real reason I think many of you come here---which I appreciate.

Silence

Some people search their entire lives for silence

That space where the can find who they really are

Connect with what they really want and what they need

My question is when you have all this silence

You have the answers to those questions

You know it in the depths of your soul

But the silence lingers endlessly

The answers overwhelm you

You can't change the impossible.

What then? Do you do anything at all?

Do you even care anymore?

Do you try for something bigger and better?

Or do you flee? 

Maybe that is why the silence lingers.

A few scattered thoughts

My day has been one of those where my thoughts are quite scattered and I guess I wanted to share some of them.

1#. Have you ever noticed that when emotionally at the lowest that is when the window of temptation is thrown wide open and your morals are put at a trial.

2#. Have you ever noticed that at times silence is the only thing that needs to said, sometimes silence is golden.

3#. Have you ever noticed that when your thoughts are scattered you can not seem to get anything worth while done? Maybe it is because you can't focus?! Maybe because your attention span is squat?!

I guess for know that is about all of my thoughts, except for one. I want to include in this post a "Youtube" clip Harvery Feirstien did on "If you had the ear of the President". It was from the "In the Life Series" and I guess I wanted to share his thoughts, since this is Gay Pride week, I wanted to share his thoughts before the nonsense and television ads of the primaries started, I wanted us to take the time and stop and think before all the rhetoric started. So here you go.......

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And of course something else for those who enjoy the music posts in my blog--the kind of stuff that could be perceived as naughty... but then again let your mind wander and let the pulse take over---Sometimes music can be the only true escape....