Eric James Borges' Suicide Note, Memorial Service Sheds New Insight Into Bullied Gay Teen's Life

A published excerpt from a suicide note and comments made by friends at a memorial service is shedding a new light on a gay teen filmmaker who took his own life earlier this month.

San Diego Gay & Lesbian News contributor Melanie Nathan, who attended one of several memorials dedicated to Eric James Borges (known as 'EricJames' to his friends), quotes from the note -- which includes references to friends and his favorite pop icon -- in her exclusive report.

"To my friends you gave me life and love, never think this was your fault," one segment reads. "To Lady Gaga, you have been a fearless relentless proud LGBT advocate..." The 19-year-old Borges, who worked as an intern for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth advocacy group The Trevor Project, also expresses his gratitude to the organization: “I do not want my passing to reflect poorly on the Trevor Project,” he wrote. “That organization was the best decision I ever made in my life.”

The note concludes: “My pain is not caused because I am gay. My pain was caused by how I was treated because I am gay.”

Borges' "extremist religious" parents, who kicked their son out of their home after allegedly performing an exorcism on him, did not attend the memorial, Nathan noted in her report.

Borges' passing left friends and acquaintances confused, particularly as the budding filmmaker had produced an "It Gets Better" video in support of LGBT youth just one month earlier. Jennifer McGuire, with whom Borges lived after being kicked out of his own home, is quoted as saying, "By the time he got to us, his real family, he was so injured and so wounded that the triage we provided wasn’t enough."


Need help? Visit The Trevor Project's website or call them at 1-866-488-7386. In the U.S. you can also call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or visit stopbullying.gov.

You can also visit Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network's (GLSEN) website for more resources.

http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/home/index.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://www.stopbullying.gov/

Cheatham County Central Highschool Gay Teen Suicide

This is from the Cheatham County Central Highschool website about the very recent suicide of another gay teen who had been bullied.  My heart goes out to the family and friends Jacob Rogers

Our hearts go out to the family, friends, classmates and teachers of Jacob Rogers, a student at Cheatham County Central High School in Ashland City, TN who completed suicide yesterday. A news report alleges that Jacob Rogers complained of frequent bullying at school based on sexual orientation. A friend reported that Jacob dropped out of school before Thanksgiving after feeling ignored by school officials.
 
This terrible event serves as a reminder to all parents, teachers and school administrators that they share a responsibility for supporting the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Individuals, families, communities and the whole of society have a responsibility to promote a culture that welcomes, accepts and supports LGBT students for who they are.
 
During this difficult time, we encourage students to take advantage of grief counseling offered by Cheatham County Central High School or other mental health resources in the community. Discussions that follow youth suicide deaths present an important opportunity to remind people - and families of LGBT youth in particular - of how important it is to love, embrace and accept their entire child for all of who they are.

Following this terrible event, Tennessee Equality Project calls upon the Cheatham County School Board to fully investigate the school's response to the bullying of Jacob Rogers. We also call upon the School Board to implement the following recommendations from GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) for addressing anti-LGBT harassment and bullying:

1. Revise district policy to explicitly prohibit student discrimination, harassment, bullying, and intimidation based on sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression. The school district must establish an enumerated policy for unwelcomed conduct that focuses on sex, race, ethnicity, religious belief, sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. An enumerated policy is crucial to ensure that anti-bullying policies are effective for all students.
2. Require staff trainings to enable school staff to identify and address anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying, and harassment effectively and in a timely manner.
3. Support student efforts to address anti-LGBT bullying and harassment on campus, such as the formation of a Gay-Straight Alliance or participation in events such as the National Day of Silence and Ally Week.
4. Institute age-appropriate, inclusive curricula to help students understand and respect difference within the school community and society as a whole.

Click HERE to share this call to action with members of the Cheatham County School Board.
 

Sincerely,

Jonathan Cole
TEP President and Chair

Welsh Soccer Player commits suicide: Gay Rumors Fly!

Gary Speed  

Football fans were shocked to hear the news of Gary Speed’s death last weekend. The Welsh soccer ("football," in U.K. parlance) player and manager seemed happy and calm when he appeared on a UK television program, discussing upcoming football matches, but just a few hours later Speed, 42, was found dead at his home.

"Twenty minutes before we went on air on Saturday, he was the normal Gary Speed to me," said Gary McAllister, a former teammate who also appeared on the BBC program "Football Focus." "He was very excited about the prospects of the Welsh national team and was upbeat, looking class, immaculately presented. He was a movie star in my eyes."

On Nov. 27 around 7 in the morning Speed’s wife, Louise, discovered her husband’s body hanging in their garage.

Gary had a seemingly perfect life: he had a thriving and successful career, a loving wife and children, plenty of friends, and no financial woes. Authorities, family and fans were all stumped by his suicide.
The sports star was the first man to play 500 games in the Premier League and the youngest member of the midfield that brought Leeds to its most recent league title in 1992. Speed also rearranged Wale’s ailing national team and coached a young team, where they won four out of five matches.

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Speed’s friends and family were hurt and confused at the unexpected loss of the great athlete. Although no official evidence has surfaced, football fans in the blogosphere are buzzing about possible rumors that Speed killed himself because he was gay.

Sports fans are also suggesting that Speed got wind that The Sun, a British tabloid newspaper, was going to print a story about his private life, possibly about being a homosexual, according to the Telegraph.
The Telegraph also reported, however, that The Sun tweeted, "No truth in this story. The Sun was not investigating Gary Speed in any way."

In a Nov. 21 article, EDGEreported about an Australian Cricket player who took his own life after local police questioned him about an alleged sexual assault on a 26-year-old Zimbabwean student.

Peter Roebuck was allowing 16 men stay at his home and was paying for their educations. The student claimed that Roebuck asked him to take off his shirt and then pinned him to the bed and then assaulted him. After police questioned him about the incident, the athlete jumped out of his hotel room’s window to his death

Fifth grade Illinois girl commits suicide, family blames bullies

A fifth-grader in Illinois is dead and her family says bullies are to blame. The 10-year-old girl committed suicide after asking her mom if she could be homeschooled.

"I really thought she had it all under control because I thought she was listening to me," said Stacy Conner, Ashlynn's mother.

Stacy has talked to her daughter about bullying before but she never expected that her daughter, Ashlynn, an honor roll student at Ridgefarm Elementary, would take her life at just 10 years old.

"I thought my kids are strong kids, that my words to them for guidance and advice was going to have more weight than what these kids could be saying," said Stacy.

Her mother said Ashlynn was teased by kids around the neighborhood and at school.

"Ashlynn's ugly, look Ashlynn's ugly. She's fat. They'd call her a slut."

She knew what was going on, she just didn't know what to do. Conner said when Ashlynn came home last Thursday, she had asked to be home schooled.

"It was the first time ever that she had asked me if she could be homeschooled and I told her 'no.'"

The next day, Ashlynn's sister found her inside a closet. She had hanged herself with a scarf.

"I will never see that smile ever again."

The family is at a loss for words.

"It is so unnecessary. It shouldn't be," said Lory Hackney, Ashlynn's grandmother.

They are struggling to cope.

"She wanted to be a veterinarian because she loved animals and she didn't want to see any of them sick or hurting," Hackney said.

She said she's hoping Ashlynn's story can keep it from happening again.

"I don't know what it is going to take to stop it, but no child should ever have to feel that they need to kill themselves to stop that kind of pain."


http://www.ktla.com/videogallery/66090095/News/Family-says-bully-made-10-year-old-commit-suicide

BUFFALO: Hundreds Attend Funeral For Gay Teen Bullying Victim

15yo CA teen Larry King Provoked His Killer?!

Larry King, who was 15 when he was shot to death by Brandon McInerney, harassed and provoked his killer, according to Save California’s Randy Thomasson. Thomasson appeared on the Janet Mefferd Show yesterday, and denigrated not only King, but his teachers and parents.
Thomasson, the creator of “Protect Your Children From Harvey Milk Gay Day In Schools” — a lie– and hate-​filled campaign against the LGBT icon and his memory – also said that anti-​bullying campaigns are “indoctrination,” and warned parents to get their kids into good “godly schools,” or their children were — get this — “going to become liberal adults and call you bigots.”
In other words, indoctrinate your children now, or they will learn the truth about you.
Could he be any more transparent?
Transcript and audio via Brian Tashman at Right Wing Watch:

The homosexual activists are saying, ‘well we have to do this so that we won’t have another Larry King,’ now we’re not talking about the old former talk show host from CNN, we’re talking about a kid in Oxnard, California, who was about fourteen years-​old and he was shot dead by a classmate. Now Larry King was saying he was homosexual but he also was a cross-​dresser and he had a bad teacher who actually got him a girl’s dress and taught him how to put makeup on. And it came out in court that this boy was parading around in makeup and high heels in front of a classmate outside on a bench and the fifteen year-​old Larry King was walking back and forth and saying, ‘you know you want me, you know you want me.’ And there was a lot of anger that another teacher saw on the boy’s face who was being tautened, I mean who’s harassing whom?
This was a very disturbed boy who was being harassed, who was sitting on the bench, so when he was being harassed by King he went home and he got his dad’s gun and he came back the next day and he killed Larry King. But the whole point is, why in the world would you let two wrongs to be done? Murder is wrong, but allowing reverse harassment to be done and allowing teachers to actually dress up boys as girls, this is causing tension, it’s causing sexual tension, it’s causing emotional tension and this is not anything that goes along with the purpose of academics. This is social engineering. So whenever you hear ‘bullying’ from the homosexual activists, think indoctrination. And it’s coming to all fifty states, I’m sorry but it is one way or the other, get your kids into godly schools and do the sacrifice of time or money and realize that you only have a few years with your children, otherwise they’re going to become liberal adults and call you bigots.

Thomasson is also hard at work campaigning to repeal California’s FAIR Education Law, which he calls, “the most in-​your-​face sexual brainwashing yet.”

14 year old Jamey Rodemeyer kills himself because of Bullies

Heartbroken Buffalo parents Tracy and Tim Rodemeyer say they found their 14 year-old son Jamey dead yesterday morning in a presumed suicide. Jamey had long complained of vicious homophobic bullying at the hands of his classmates.

Jamey Rodemeyer needed help. At 14, he was grappling with adolescent demons that could torment grown men. And when he was online, he wrote about it. "I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens," he wrote Sept. 9. "What do I have to do so people will listen to me?" Just over one week later, Jamey was found dead outside his home of an apparent suicide. In the months prior, he routinely blogged about school bullying and thoughts of suicide in between upbeat posts about his pop star idol Lady Gaga and the ordinary types of teen rants typical for kids his age. On Sept. 8, he wrote: "No one in my school cares about preventing suicide, while you're the ones calling me [gay slur] and tearing me down."

Much of Jamey's tormenting came via cyber-bullying. His parents, who say they discussed and supported Jamey's questioning of his sexuality, intend to carry on his campaign against bullies.

Towleroad notes that yesterday Lady Gaga responded to the suicide of bullied 14 year-old Jamey Rodemeyer by vowing to meet with the president about the issue. Jamey was a huge fan of Gaga and frequently mentioned her in his online postings. His parents say they will bury Jamey in a Born This Way t-shirt.

Teens in Suicide Pact Kill themselves

A pair of Minnesota teens who felt bullied and ostracized by fellow middle school students killed themselves this weekend during what appeared to be an innocent sleepover.
Haylee Fentress and Paige Moravetz were found Saturday in the small town of Lynd. The two 14-year-olds hanged themselves and left notes in an apparent suicide pact.
"I think they've had this for some time," Robin Settle, Fentress' aunt, told ABC News. The two were found by Fentress' mother. Moravetz was sleeping over at her best-friend's home because her parents were on vacation in Hawaii. "She attempted to resuscitate them," Settle said, but it was too late.

Moravetz moved to the small Minnesota town a year ago and had a hard time making friends, her aunt said. She and Fentress' friendship appeared to grow out of the pair's shared feeling of being excluded. Settle said her niece told her she was "made fun of for being overweight ... and she didn't fit in."

Fentress didn't want "anybody to be sad for her," according to Settle, and dictated in her suicide note that her funeral have lots of pink, princesses and butterflies.  Marshall Middle School, where the two girls attended, held a gathering Tuesday to reach out to parents and provide information on how to discuss the incident with their children.

"You don't get over it," Marshall Superintendent Klint Willert said, according to the Marshall Independent newspaper. "But by working together, we can get through it."

New Jersey: Roommate Charged with Hate Crime In Suicide of Rutgers Student

The roommate of Rutgers freshman Tyler Clementi (left) was today indicted on hate crime charges stemming from the secret webcasting of Clementi having sex with another man. Clementi leaped from the George Washington Bridge last year after learning about the broadcast.


Dharun Ravi, a former Rutgers University student, was indicted on 15 counts including charges of invasion of privacy, bias intimidation and tampering with evidence by a grand jury in Middlesex County, N.J. Prosecutors allege that not only did Ravi invade Clementi's privacy, but he tried to cover it up. Both Ravi and his alleged accomplice, former Rutgers student Molly Wei, are accused of filming Clementi during a "sexual encounter" in his dorm room with a man and then streaming it live on the Internet. Evidence against Wei has not yet been presented to a grand jury. Prosecutors allege that on Sept. 19 of last year, Ravi filmed Clementi with the purpose of intimidating him because of his sexual orientation. Ravi "disclosed a photograph, film, videotape, recording or other reproduction of the image of [Clementi]...whose intimate parts were exposed," the indictment reads. When Ravi became worried about being charged with a crime, he sent false tweets in an attempt "to mislead a public servant who was engaged in such proceeding or investigation," the indictment reads.



Clementi's parents have released a statement applauding today's charges.

Anti-gay bullying leads to another tragic teen suicide

RITTMAN, Ohio — Another young life lost to anti-gay bullying.


     Nicholas Kelo Jr. knew what it was like to be relentlessly bullied, his family said, and it may have been what persuaded him to pry open a safe inside his home on Feb. 23, and remove the gun that killed him, reports the Akron Beacon Journal.  He was 13 years old. It is unknown as to whether or not Nick was gay, but that did not stop his bullies or their attacks.

”It had been going on for years,” Jacqueline Kelo [Nick's mother] said. ”We would talk and he would say [of the bullies] that they were not worth his time.”  Nick played football in middle school but gave up the sport this year to participate in high school band.

The switch, Jacqueline Kelo reasoned, resulted in swelling rumors. Some, she said, wrongly assumed that a kid who would prefer to play the tenor sax rather than tossing a pigskin must be gay.  “After that, it [the bullying] spiraled out of control,” she said.

One such incident allegedly happened on a school bus following a football game, explained the mother of another Rittman teenager who said her son is also a victim of bullying. During the incident, Nick allegedly became the victim of an older student who was “glicking” — forcibly spitting on him. Jacqueline Kelo knew something was bothering her son when he came home, but the eighth-grader refused to share the details — telling her that he would handle it himself. The parents became aware of it only after their son’s death.  Jacqueline Kelo said it didn’t surprise her that her son kept his pain to himself. Nick viewed himself as his mother’s protector.

“He was the man of the house,” the single mother said.   Nick’s death is being investigated as a likely suicide, according to Rittman police.  Nick recently scored 152 on an IQ test, which is classified as superior intelligence. He had a second-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and was an avid inventor, creating both a waffle fork to remove hot food from a toaster and an incinerator trash can. Nine of Nick’s organs were collected and donated.
News of Nick’s death comes just days after the White House held a high-visibility conference on bullying prevention, with the President and First Lady calling on parents, teachers, students, and communities to address the problem together.

For those who read this blog this story , which i just read about, Rittman is about 20 miles from my home.  I was beside myself, scik to my stomach with the last of the anti'gay teen bullying but with it in my backyard, if you will,makesme madder than hell.  My heart goes out to this singlemother, and it is just breaking for her.  We as the gya and gay supportive community need to do something for this woman immediately as well as for our gay, questioning or just plain bullied for being gay even if they are not.

Teenager Death; Friends Say Bullying May be to Blame

MILTONA, Minn. - The news of a high school student's death and rumored suicide began circling social networking sites Monday morning, after the news began spreading that 18-year-old Jefferson High School student Lance Lundsten had died over the weekend.

Around 10 p.m. Saturday the Douglas County Sheriff's Office responded to an emergency call at the Lundsten's residence in Miltona.

When officers arrived, they discovered 18-year-old Lance Lundsten needing emergency medical care. Lundsten was transported to the Douglas County Hospital where he later died.

The Sheriff's Office said Tuesday that the cause of Lundsten's death was yet to be determined. Authorities had been working with the Douglas County Medical Examiner's Office to investigate the circumstances surrounding the death.

In an interview Wednesday morning, Douglas County Medical Examiner Dr. Mark Spanbauer said the preliminary autopsy report showed the teen did not die from an enlarged heart.

The teen's heart was slightly enlarged, but that finding was a secondary finding to an undetermined cause, according to Spanbauer.

Spanbauer said what actually caused Lundsten's heart to slightly swell was not yet known, as the final autopsy report was still in progress.

"He was a small young man. His heart showed slight swelling," Spanbauer said. "It was slightly enlarged. This was a secondary finding."

Spanbauer was waiting for the results of Lundsten's toxicology report before stating an official cause of death.

According to his Facebook page, Lundsten was openly gay. On a Facebook memorial page in Lundsten's honor, friends said that Lundsten had been bullied at school for his sexual orientation. Some students who knew Lundsten believed the bullying may have led to his death.

Another Jefferson High School student started a Facebook group in direct response to Lundsten's death called the Jefferson Anti-Bully Coalition.  Its founder, Morgan Hauer posted on the Jefferson Anti-Bully Coalition page Sunday night:

"So everyone, i may have started this group, but it really means nothing unless we take action. words, speeches and petitions can get us far, but the only real way to stand up to bullying is to stop bullying other people, stand up for those being bullied and let authoritative figures know whats going on. without you, this whole idea is pointless and a very beloved schoolmate will have died in vain.  Don't let that happen, we owe at least that much to Lance and everyone else who is, was, or will ever be bullied.  Thank you, Group Founder, Morgan Hauer."
 
Since this story's initial report, a gay recent graduate of Jefferson High School student told KSAX-TV about his experiences, and how he was bullied at the school and no one listened.


"Bullying is a huge issue, particularly with the youth in our country now," Facilitator of the Diversity Resource Action Alliance Shari Maloney said. "I think because we're in central Minnesota, and we aren't as diverse as some of the larger Metropolitan areas are, someone who is different maybe draws more attention and it's not always positive."

Maloney said she works everyday to make Alexandria a more accepting place for community members and visitors. She said she has seen improvement, but there is still a long way to go.

"I think we are a welcoming community, but I think we are also a very traditional community as well," Maloney said. "As the world changes, I'm not sure if we're changing."

In a letter to staff and media, District 206 Superintendent Terry Quist responded to the teen's death, and the  accusations of alleged bullying at the school. Senator Al Franken discusses legislation to protect students from being bullied in the classroom because of their sexual orientation.

Tim Gunn for The Trevor Project/It Gets Better

In September, five teenage boys killed themselves after being physically or verbally (or both) assaulted for being gay. The suicides of Tyler Clementi, 18, Billy Lucas, 15, Asher Brown, 13, Justin Aaberg, 15, and Seth Walsh, 13, have brought national attention to the epidemic of bullying in American schools.

Now, a number of stars, many of whom have personal experience with anti-gay bullying, are speaking out in hopes of raising awareness and providing support to teens and young adults who are being victimized or who are having trouble dealing with their sexuality. The topic is also addressed in a cover story for this week's PEOPLE magazine and in a week-long series on CNN's Anderson Cooper 360.



Most recently, 'Project Runway' mentor Tim Gunn spoke candidly about his own suicide attempt and his support for The Trevor Project, a national 24-hour, toll-free confidential suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth. "I understand the desperation. I understand the despair," an emotional Gunn said with tears in his eyes. "And I understand how isolated you can feel ... It will get better. I promise."

Following Billy Lucas' death, well-known columnist and author Dan Savage launched the "It Gets Better" campaign – a series of user-created YouTube videos in which gay adults openly discuss the torment they incurred in high school and encourage GLBT youth to stick it out because "it gets better." Clementi's death has inspired an overwhelming response to the campaign, which has since been flooded with videos from men and women across the world sharing their stories.



"When a gay teenager commits suicide, it's because he can't picture a life for himself that's filled with joy and family and pleasure and is worth sticking around for," Savage told MTV a week after Clementi's death. "So I felt it was really important that, as gay adults, we show them that our lives are good and happy and healthy and that there's a life worth sticking around for after high school."

Savage's "It Gets Better" message has seemingly become the rallying cry around which a movement against anti-gay bullying has centered, with Anne Hathaway, Jenny McCarthy, Ian Somerhalder and Kristin Cavallari recording a PSA for The Trevor Project that uses the motto. 'Harry Potter' star Daniel Radcliffe also recently spoke to MTV about the importance of the Trevor Project.



TV stars Ellen DeGeneres and Neil Patrick Harris have also spoken out against anti-gay bullying. "This needs to be a wake up call to everyone ... One life lost in this senseless way is tragic; four lives lost is a crisis," DeGeneres said in an emotional message taped on the set of her daytime talk show. "My heart is breaking for their families, for their friends and for our society that continues to let this happen. These kids needed us, and we have an obligation to change this. We can't let intolerance and ignorance to take another kid's life."

Celebrities Team Up for Anti-Bullying Campaigns


By John Mitchell Posted Oct 6th 2010 02:00PM

NO CHARGES to be made in Bullying Case and death!!

Police in Tehachapi, California, will not pursue charges against students who taunted and bullied 13-year old gay student Seth Walsh, who hung himself nine days ago and was taken off of life support yesterday.

"Several of the kids that we talked to broke down into tears," said police chief Jeff Kermode. "They had never expected an outcome such as this." Other students remain in shock over Walsh's tragic death, and seem to understand that homophobic bullying played a role in Walsh's suicide, yet that doesn't mean they'll break what prevention counselor Daryl Thiesen calls the "culture of silence" that surrounds bullying.
"You're told you shouldn't be a snitch or tattler," said Thiesen.

Walsh's death comes one day after Texas teen Asher Brown shot himself over anti-gay bullying. These incidents are not isolated, America. This isn't a gay problem, nor are these stories just about nasty brats.
We're experiencing an anti-gay bullying epidemic, and one that needs to be addressed, for the aforementioned culture of silence isn't just killing kids, it's killing our nation's future.
We should all heed the Walsh family's statement on the subject: "A negative action ... by adults and children ... will not solve or help anyone! Violence is not the answer! Please everyone, be kind and love one another!"

I've included a video made by Walsh's family and friends, AFTER THE JUMP. Be warned, however, that the video will yield tears. So, if you don't want to be puffy at work, wait until you get home.

Rutgers Suicide Raises Difficult Questions

The following is an article from online that I found about the current suicide of Rutgers Freshman, Tyler Clememti. The article was originally posted on FanHouse and was written by Clay Travis.

Thanks to technology we can do things that our grandparents would have never dreamed of doing. Thanks to that same technology people can also commit crimes that would have once seemed impossible.

In the wake of Rutgers freshman, Tyler Clementi's suicide, reportedly brought on by the taping of his sexual encounter by other college students, it's worth considering how technology has fundamentally altered our conceptions of privacy. One of the two defendants in this case, Dharun Ravi, used Twitter, ichat, and a webcam to secretly videotape his roommate as he engaged in a sexual encounter with another man. Clementi was so distraught over the distribution of these images over the Internet that he leaped to his death from New York City's George Washington Bridge.

In the wake of Clementi's suicide, Ravi and another woman/student, Molly Wei, have been charged with violating New Jersey's invasion of privacy statutes. Those statutes make it a crime "to collect or view images depicting nudity or sexual contact involving another individual without that person's consent." There is also a separate crime should those images be transmitted. In addition to these charges, gay rights groups have called for Ravi and Wei to be charged with hate crimes as well, alleging that their motivation was based upon Clementi's sexuality.

Whether the defendants are also charged with a hate crime will likely depend on if the state of New Jersey can uncover any evidence that their acts were motivated by Clementi's homosexuality. In making this determination, the state will investigate text messages, emails, and sundry other technological clues to uncover the motivations behind the acts. In the meantime, it's worth considering what Clementi's suicide teaches us about the rapidly shifting arena of cyber crime and how many ways in which an individual's privacy can be invaded that weren't even possible 10 years ago.

Where once an individual student would have had a difficult time invading the privacy of another student, now any student in a dorm can be a victim of this crime. Indeed, while the individuals charged in with this crime may be condemned for their acts, surreptitious recording of an individual without that individual's consent is not uncommon. Last year, ESPN's Erin Andrews became a high-profile victim of secret videotaping while she was in her hotel room. What makes the Rutgers crime unique isn't the crime itself, it's the reaction of the victim to the crime.

And that, more than anything else, points to the dangers inherent in invasion of privacy crimes. The defendants in this case are likely to argue that they were unaware that Clementi would react as he did to their secret videotaping and that they considered this nothing more than a prank. Indeed, the actual crime here has been subsumed by Clementi's reaction to the crime. Imagine that rather than being driven to suicide, Clementi merely turns in these students to Rutgers for violating his privacy.

Do we ever hear about the crime? Does it receive any publicity?

Probably not. The students likely receive probation. At most, maybe they're forced to withdraw from school. That's it.

Instead we're all horrified, justifiably so, by Clementi's reaction when his privacy was invaded. And that reaction, more than anything, should serve as a teachable moment for parents, children, and educators. Do students truly realize the severity of the reactions that their modern acts can provoke? Or has technology so pervaded their lives that the severity of the act itself -- broadcasting someone engaged in a sexual act without consent -- been devalued? Indeed, in an age when celebrities hawk sex tapes and become even more famous than they already were, have we all been desensitized to the idea of what privacy means?

That's a broad question without an easy answer. Isn't the out that we are punishing the defendants for the result of their act more than the actual act itself? And if that's the case isn't that backward? Shouldn't we be treating the crime as severe no matter how the defendant reacts? Otherwise how can we demonstrate that even in the age of Facebook an individual right to privacy still exists?

So what can this case teach us? First, that invasion of privacy is a serious crime regardless of what reaction it provokes. Second, you can't predict how anyone is going to deal with cyber-bullying, harassment, or the invasion of his privacy. Many will cope without any issues. Others, as we see with Clementi, may never be able to escape the wrong that was perpetrated against them.

In our civil courts, that is the non-criminal field of law, the thin-skulled plaintiff rule has existed for generations. Pursuant to the thin-skulled plaintiff rule if you behave in a negligent manner that leads to another individual's injury, you are responsible for all the damages that ensue as a result of your act. That's even though you had no clue that the plaintiff in your situation had a thin-skull and was more susceptible to damage than he or she appeared.

The rule is applied in a criminal setting as well, but in our modern era maybe it should receive a new name, the thin-skinned expectation. From this point forward, you should assume that everything you do to invade someone else's privacy could be the precipitating factor that sets them off on a path of destruction. Did the defendants in this case believe that Clementi might commit suicide based upon what they considered to be a prank? Probably not. Should they have? Who knows. Should every student in America think about Clementi in the future when they consider invading another student's privacy for sport.

You bet.

It's the only way any of us can learn a lesson from a tragedy.

Some thoughts for the day

Sorry I have not posted since Thursday but things have been hectic and I have not quite felt like myself the last few days. There is so much to write about, where does one begin?

Thursday night we had our Cleveland Playhouse season tickets and we went and saw Xanadu. A rather silly musical based on the Olivia Newton John movie of the same name. The movie as many of you know was a HUGE flop and while the play has no huge story line, it does have all the original music from the movie. It was light hearted, silly, very Eighties complete with leg warmers and it kept your toes tapping while you sang along at points. Would I have spent big bucks to see it, probably not but as part of our season tickets it was fun.

The weather is finally warming up a little and the snow is finally melting--hurrah and on the side of the house I can see the starts of daffodils popping out of the ground! Spring my friends is finally one its way. The dogs seem a little sad I think because they JUST LOVE the snow and until the grass is dry and green there is isn't much to play in outside. Although Toto does love running in circles in the mud!

As many of you are aware if your into the news like I am Marie Osmond's Michael Blosil committed sucide Friday night leaping from his eighth floor apartment building he was only eighteen years old.  There are a few reasons I bring this up.  The first is Michael was a student of the Fashion Design and Merchandising, the school that was featured on the Los Angeles season of "Project Runway".  We will never know what wonderful and creative things Michael could have created. (Michael is the eldest in the photogrpah on the side).  And when a fellow designer dies I for one take notice.  It is so tragic and sad that he saw no other way.

The second is the Osmonds have gone on record saying that his suicide was because of his long battle with severe depression, which I am not denying or making light of in any way.  Depression can and does many things to lead to some people to desperate actions, myself included.  In my own life time there have been two periods where I tried committing suicide by overdosing.  This topic is very close to my heart and I understand what leads to this.  I have been fortunate both times and friends rescued me who were near at the time and for that I am grateful.  It was a long painful road that lead to that period of my life and it was a long road out of that period as well.

This statement from the Osmonds has brought some heat especially from the likes of movie/television star Roseanne Barr.



"Marie Osmond's poor gay son killed himself because he had been told how wrong and how sick he was every day of his life by his church and the people in it. Calling that 'depression' is a lie!


"Hey, I want her and all the gay kids in the world to know that they are just fine being gay and that they deserve love and respect instead of insults and rebuke! I have gay people in my family and my circle of friends and I am kicking bigot ass and taking names!
"Yet even though the people they say they love the most in all of their public displays and speeches (THEIR KIDS AND FAMILY!!) are gay,-- their own children, for crying out loud- these people cannot find the Christian decency and compassion within themselves to stop their hypocritical gay bashing!! How sickening. I know so many Mormon kids who were gay and committed suicide, and I just cannot and will not stay quiet in order to not offend bigots anymore. It is all so terribly depressing.  Roseanne Barr, writing on her personal blog.

While I am not in any means endorsing what Roseanne said I find it interesting to say the least that she is the only one who brings up his sexuality and she is the only one talking about.  Religion for the most part can be for many a very oppressive and condemning aspect to many people just not gays and I find that statement very sad indeed.  If this statement is true about his sexuality I would hope that Marie has the hutzpah to honor her son, his life and this horrific tragedy by becoming a very vocal advocate and supporter of PFLAG (Parents Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and changing the lives of those who feel like there is no other way out. 

I am here to say there is someone who knows what it is like, someone who has been there and someone who understands.  Someone who cares for you and is there to help you through it.  I just wish more people would be as open, receptive and caring---then maybe

Until next time I am so glad we had this time together and that you contiue to come back and read .

The following "Youtube" post does contain include use of profanity, but please keep in mind that the "letter" is very real. THE TREVOR PROJECT
http://www.thetrevorproject.org

If you need to call the Trevor Hotline...
1-866-4U-Trevor
(866.488.7386)

Alexander McQueen, has died---suicide!

Fashion designer Alexander McQueen has taken his own life at age 40. His office confirmed his death, saying: 'It is a tragic loss. We are not making a comment at this time out of respect for the McQueen family.' He was found at his home in London.

McQueen's store on West 14th Street in New York was was temporarily closed on Thursday morning

McQueen's secondary line, McQ, was to be presented Thursday, the day of his death, as part of New York Fashion Week. KCD, the PR company handling the show, says the presentation is canceled. Company spokeswoman Samantha Garrett said McQueen's body was found in the morning but that she had no information "in terms of circumstances."

Police did not directly comment when asked about how McQueen died, but said officers were called by the ambulance service at 10:20 a.m. (1020GMT) to an address on Green Street, in central London, and found a 40-year-old man dead. They did not name him but said next of kin had been informed.

The force said a post-mortem would be held but that the death was not being treated as suspicious.

McQueen's death came days before London Fashion Week, although he was not scheduled to show in the British capital.

McQueen, the son of a taxi driver, was born in East London in 1969. He apprenticed on Savile Row as a teenager before attending Central Saint Martins College of Art and Design. It was his graduation collection that caught the eye of stylist Isabella Blow. The two became remained close friends until Blow committed suicide in May, 2007.

McQueen's sudden death robbed the fashion scene of one of its most innovative and successful young designers. He made his name first in London, then wooed audiences in Paris, New York and Milan to take his place in the upper echelons of the designing world.

His clothes were sexy and distinctive, dramatic and different, perfect for red-carpet presentations and late night rock gatherings.  cclaim and honors came in waves to the talented, bearded man favored by celebrities like Madonna, Lady Gaga, and Naomi Campbell. He was named British Fashion Designer of the Year on four separate occasions.

Despite the accolades, McQueen clung tenaciously to his privacy, turning down most interview requests and shying away from the post-show limelight other designers craved.  Known for his dramatic statement pieces and impeccable tailoring, he helped raise the profile of British fashion and was recognized by Queen Elizabeth II in 2003 when she made him a Commander of the British Empire for his fashion leadership.

His pieces were coveted and treasured by stylish women across the globe.  McQueen influenced a whole generation of designers. His brilliant imagination knew no bounds as he conjured up collection after collection of extraordinary designs," said Alexandra Shulman, the editor of British Vogue.

Hal Rubenstein, a fashion director for InStyle magazine said McQueen started out tough and angry -- in his work and attitude -- but softened over time as he felt more appreciated by the industry.  McQueen, he said, was a master of integration of technology into fashion.

"He changed the way so many of us see shows." Vivienne Westwood, perhaps Britain's most revered designer, said she was "incredibly sorry" to hear of McQueen's death.

Little was immediately known about the circumstances surrounding his death, which came as the fashion elite was gathered in New York for a series of catwalk shows.

Recently posted comments on his Twitter page showed signs of anguish over the Feb. 2 death of his mother. He said he wanted his mother to rest in peace and said, "But life must go on!"  Using an obscenity, he added that he had had an "awful week" and said he had to "some how pull myself together and finish."

The designer received his early fashion training at the Central St. Martin's College of Art and Design, long recognized for its fashion-forward approach and encouragement of Britain's talented young designers.

He learned the finer points of traditional men's tailoring at two famous, conservative Savile Row houses: Anderson and Sheppard and also Gieves and Hawkes.  "He was 16 when he came here," said John Hitchcock of Anderson and Sheppard. "He was a boy from Essex, he wanted to learn tailoring. He was a little bit different -- he was very ambitious."  He said McQueen's success had inspired the next generation of designers.

After his Savile Row stint, McQueen started to develop his trademark, more theatrical designs, working with several other brands before first starting his own label in 1992.  He quickly earned a reputation for innovation that lasted until his death. His last name soon entered the fashion lexicon and become synonymous with new and cutting edge.

The company he founded was purchased by the Gucci Group, and he retained creative control of his own brand.  His runway shows -- more often like performance pieces because they were so dramatic, and sometimes, bizarre -- were always a highlight during the Paris ready-to-wear fashion week.

One of his previous collections included a show built around the concept of recycling, with models donning extravagant headwear made out of trash. His last collection, shown in October in Paris, featured elaborate and highly structured cocktail dresses. Critics raved.  His edgy creations have been seen on numerous red carpets, worn by A-list actresses, including Sandra Bullock and Cameron Diaz.  Lady Gaga recently made waves when she wore McQueen's spring 2010 lobster-claw shoes in her "Bad Romance" music video.