A Dream is a Wish your heart makes

I have said it before, and I will say it again, that the dreams that you have at night while fast asleep are really a gate way into your soul.  It is a window into your deepest wishes, wants and desires.  First off let me say I have not been sleeping well at all for over a week.  I get about four hours if I am lucky and frankly I feel like it has me rather short with people and very forgetful.

With that said last night I was so pleased because I got my full eight hours.  Partially I think because I think I took a pain pill because my chest and legs were killing me.  Same old sh*t that I talk about from time to time that I think largely is Fibromyalgia related.  But with pain pill in toe I slept like a baby and dreamt for the first time in months.

In my dream I was upstairs in my studio, which in my dream was MUCH bigger than it is now, and in walks Chairce who I mentioned yesterday's post.  She wants me to design her entire new upcoming concert.  Needless to say I was some what stunned, she said twenty outfits that fit the songs and mood she wants to convery.  I asked "when she needed them" she said five months away.  I called for my assistant, in dreams I guess I have an assitant.  I can't remember HIS name but he was tall, dashing and simply brillant.  I said " we have our work cut out for us but I know we can do it.

While the three of us were chatting in walks, honest to G-d Celine Dion.  I about pissed myself.  She walks over to me kisses me on both cheeks like the French do.  She is flawlessly gorgeous of course and says "Charles darling, I need you to design this Red Carpet affair for the upcoming Music Awards thing I am nominated for and Charice told me what a genius you are do you think you can" all of course with a French accent that is very seductive. I smiled so sweetly and said "Of course anything for you mon cherie."

I awoke briefly and very shortly fell asleep This time I was in a much larger space than even the dream before that is apprently my studio and I am sitting at my fabric table with the legendary icon Carol Burnett.  "Darling, I have this huge Kennedy's Honor event coming up where they are giving me this huge award and well you know Bob Mackie has retired a little bit ago.  I hear it gets no better than you.  Can you and would you design a gown of exquiste quality for this gala event?  Celione Dion raved so much about you darling, it was so sweet and charming.  I blushed.  I sat tearing up, "Carol I would be delighted."

In walks honest to G-d Gay Super Icon and Fierce Goddess herself CHER!  I fainted, deadway.  Carol Burnett picks me up, dust me off.  "Darling, get it together.  I hope you don't mind but I called my friend Cher and said to meet us here."  I sat crying.  Cher in typical Cher fashion walks over and bitch slaps me right across the face and says "Snap out of it" ala Moonstruck.  I apologize.  I am sorry Cher but I have adored you all my life and now you are standing in MY STUDIO.

"Yeah well, duh darling.  Carol said I had to see you and so did Celine.  I have this upcoming one night concert affair I am doing in Vegas darling and well I want you to do all the sets, costumes and even some publicity outfits for the show.  I fainted again. Cher brought me to my feet.  "Darling, the fainting is growing old." She smiles "But it is flattering, g-d knows I love my gays." 

I awoke my pillow was damp, apparently I was having some minor night sweats.  I am was smiling though, crying too.  I know its just a dream but it all seemed so real.  It seemed as if I was really in their presence.  Like all the hard work was paying off.  Somebody finally HAD NOTICED me!

Broadway Queen--thats me

Well last night I was in my "theatre glory" with the brand new season of Glee.  Kids, I absolutely adore this show more than breathing, I have it bad. Maybe it is because I am a "Broadway Queen" as they say but there isn't anything better than a great story with great music that you leave singing when you leave the theatre. Besides as a Broadway Queen you get your own tiara .  Kidding!

With a guest appearance by Charice, the Filipino girl featured on Oprah a few times, Charice plays a girl named Sunshine.  I was once again in love with this 16 year old girl with the voice of a grown woman.  Charice first preformed part of the Lady Gaga hit Telephone. 

Charice/Sunshine was fierce, to fierce actually for character Rachel who turns in to Miss Uber b*tch and sends poor Sunshine to a crack house for her audition.  Well kids you don't f*ck with diva's.  Trust me I know being a diva at time myself. 

Our girl Sunshine belts out one of my favorite songs of all time "Listen".  I know I have posted this song twice before but kids there is something that she brings to this song that I have not gotten before.  It is of course from the story line, it is the whole I know you sent me to a crack house because I threaten you well TOUGH SH*T!  Because b*th I am going deliver it and boy does she.  This kind of "F" you done with a song and all attitude.



Of course Rachel realizes she has been a first class jerk and decides to put her regret into song as well.



I bring this whole thing up because sometimes we just have those days where we want to be the uber b*tch for no real good reason at all.  Maybe the whole thing has been building for a long time and it just feels good to let the witch out.  Claws flying, attitude soaring, bitchiness in full force and we are embracing it and celebrating it.  Then we regret it.  At height of the moment it feels great, feels powerful and I guess my day was yesterday. I didn't blow up, but I probably over reacted.  Thank god no one was there to see me do it.  I have the good sense to keep my head in public and than lose it when I am by myself.  That way I am not embarrassed.

Oh well. I guess we all have moments where we have melt downs.  Thankfully mine are not that often and are hardlyever public.  Well kids thanks for the time we have had together.