A Dream is a Wish your heart makes

I have said it before, and I will say it again, that the dreams that you have at night while fast asleep are really a gate way into your soul.  It is a window into your deepest wishes, wants and desires.  First off let me say I have not been sleeping well at all for over a week.  I get about four hours if I am lucky and frankly I feel like it has me rather short with people and very forgetful.

With that said last night I was so pleased because I got my full eight hours.  Partially I think because I think I took a pain pill because my chest and legs were killing me.  Same old sh*t that I talk about from time to time that I think largely is Fibromyalgia related.  But with pain pill in toe I slept like a baby and dreamt for the first time in months.

In my dream I was upstairs in my studio, which in my dream was MUCH bigger than it is now, and in walks Chairce who I mentioned yesterday's post.  She wants me to design her entire new upcoming concert.  Needless to say I was some what stunned, she said twenty outfits that fit the songs and mood she wants to convery.  I asked "when she needed them" she said five months away.  I called for my assistant, in dreams I guess I have an assitant.  I can't remember HIS name but he was tall, dashing and simply brillant.  I said " we have our work cut out for us but I know we can do it.

While the three of us were chatting in walks, honest to G-d Celine Dion.  I about pissed myself.  She walks over to me kisses me on both cheeks like the French do.  She is flawlessly gorgeous of course and says "Charles darling, I need you to design this Red Carpet affair for the upcoming Music Awards thing I am nominated for and Charice told me what a genius you are do you think you can" all of course with a French accent that is very seductive. I smiled so sweetly and said "Of course anything for you mon cherie."

I awoke briefly and very shortly fell asleep This time I was in a much larger space than even the dream before that is apprently my studio and I am sitting at my fabric table with the legendary icon Carol Burnett.  "Darling, I have this huge Kennedy's Honor event coming up where they are giving me this huge award and well you know Bob Mackie has retired a little bit ago.  I hear it gets no better than you.  Can you and would you design a gown of exquiste quality for this gala event?  Celione Dion raved so much about you darling, it was so sweet and charming.  I blushed.  I sat tearing up, "Carol I would be delighted."

In walks honest to G-d Gay Super Icon and Fierce Goddess herself CHER!  I fainted, deadway.  Carol Burnett picks me up, dust me off.  "Darling, get it together.  I hope you don't mind but I called my friend Cher and said to meet us here."  I sat crying.  Cher in typical Cher fashion walks over and bitch slaps me right across the face and says "Snap out of it" ala Moonstruck.  I apologize.  I am sorry Cher but I have adored you all my life and now you are standing in MY STUDIO.

"Yeah well, duh darling.  Carol said I had to see you and so did Celine.  I have this upcoming one night concert affair I am doing in Vegas darling and well I want you to do all the sets, costumes and even some publicity outfits for the show.  I fainted again. Cher brought me to my feet.  "Darling, the fainting is growing old." She smiles "But it is flattering, g-d knows I love my gays." 

I awoke my pillow was damp, apparently I was having some minor night sweats.  I am was smiling though, crying too.  I know its just a dream but it all seemed so real.  It seemed as if I was really in their presence.  Like all the hard work was paying off.  Somebody finally HAD NOTICED me!

Dreams of Lorna

I guess this is my month for dreams associated with either the incredible Judy Garland or things related to Oz, as I have had another one.  Last night while sleeping in the warmth of flannel sheets while it was frigid outside I dreamt I was at the cocktail party and we were sitting around watching "Me And My Shadows" the television movie about the life of Judy .  Sitting across from me was none other than the incredible, Lorna Luft.  I was speechless, yeah even dumbfounded and didn't say anything.  The scene changes slightly and we are at another party, as we are dressed differently and I am standing this time with a drink in my hand and right across from me is once again, Lorna Luft.

Well this time I was really star struck and my mouth agape and she approached me.  She just clamly says "Your a fan aren't you"? and I of course said "Yes, I am but I didn't want to embarass myself and make you uncomfortable and I hope I haven't".  She smiled slightly took my hand and says "I know what a huge fan you are, especially of my mother's and that meeting me must be blowing your mind right now, but I do understand".  I smile weakly at this point my knees weak and my insides very uneasy.

The scene changes slightly and we are sitting, she is holding my hand and out of the blue she says "I hear through my sources that you are very resourceful and quite talented with a thread and needle".  I smile and say "Well thank you Ms. Luft".  She replies "Lorna, please darling.  The reason I bring this up is I would like for you to design me this dress for an event I have to be at honoring Mom, and once that is done I have been asked to do a Broadway show and well darling the director and I both agree we want you to do all the costuming".

I awoke, smiling to some degree but slightly mad that I did wake up as now I don't know how it ended.  Although, maybe this dream has to play out in real life.  So Lorna, if your reading I am ready to sew for you.

Dreams of Kristin

I really believe that our dreams can be the gateway to our pasts, our present and also our futures. With that said I also feel that our dreams can also become our reality if we stick to what we really want and we strive to achieve it.  I am not talking about daydreams here like "golly I wish I could go to Paris", but those visions into our souls we have when we sleep.  Our bodies slowed down from the daily grind, our eyes shut and we in a deep, serene place of rest.

I feel those dreams come when we are at our most vulenerable, and I also feel that those dreams reveal who we really are.  That those dreams reveal what we need the most at that moment.  I have talked about dreams I have had with Judy in them and the most moving of them all the dream I had of little Joe Luft leading me to "Mama's casket" at Campbell's funeral home.  It is still the most vivid to me almost a year later.

With all of this said last night I had one of those dreams that well has changed me.  It was different phases of my life after Fashion Design school and me designing different Red Carpet, Charity, Award Show and Broadway pieces for the ever loveable Kristin Chenoweth.  Those funny, charming moments flashed across my dreams.  The privates jokes, the giggles and dahlinks their were a ton of them.  The fittings, the fabric selections and than seein her in my creations at the events.  It seemed like it went by in a flash.

Time marched on as I dream unfolded and the next thing I knew I was ina loft apartment I am assuming in New York in bed, very visibilly ill, very near death actually and s itting in a King Louis chair was Kristin holding my hand crying slightly.  She said "Sparky ( a nickname actually Suzi Wallace gave me) you are the greatest, you made me gorgeous and I love you for it always have.  I may have not said it enough but darling it is so true"  I simply smiled, visiblily gray hair what is left of it and very tired looking.  "You know Sparky, you are not going to die actually.  Believe it or not some of the Glinda magic does exist and well instead of dying I have arranged a special trip"

With that said there stood before me the 16 year old Judy Garland.as Dorothy, she smiled held out her hand and as Kristin began singing "For Good" from Wicked I took Judy's hands and simply went to Oz.

Now I know everybody dies, but maybe when I do I will go to instead of "heaven".  Oz would after all be paradise.  What I want to happen is the chance to get to know Kristen on that level as a person.  To actually get to work with her, design for her and call her my friend.  Kristin, if you are reading I am ready now to sew for you