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Saturday, March 31, 2012

A Caged Bird Sings; Original poetry


This was written for a class I am in right at the moment and I thought I would share it with all of you...enjoy

A Caged Bird Sings



A bird in a gilded cage
Longing for unspoken freedoms
Dreading darkness of night rages
Begins to fade
Singing the musical
Darkness becomes dawn
Yet do you know why
The caged bird sings
Are his notes tears
Filled with sorrow and despair
Yearning for a frail branch
Bending once again ‘neath him

Brittle ebony branches coming to life
Sweet magnolia perfume of spring
Ending the ruffling sobs
Once so loud, so clear; long ago
Breaking out of his ivory shell
O I can tell you why
The caged bird sings
Holding fast to his bosom the dream
Fluttering out the window carried by
Welcoming rays of sunshine
On the flight of tireless wings

No longer caged but free
Singing because once Cruel
Bruising ended old
Old scars are far, far away
On another distant hill
The narrow gold gilded cage
Sits empty by the window sill
For once he dared to be a
Caged bird with a dream that needed
Singing

Monday, March 19, 2012

Test Results

Well I had my MRI/CAT scan and to a large degree I am happy to report that everything came back normal.  I know that is an odd way of putting it but now it feels like it is another one of those things going on with me they will never figure out what it is.  Like I have problems with my balance, pain in my legs, the headaches, feeling like I have been hit by a bus 90% of the time and the only thing they have been able to somewhat pin anything to is Fibromyalgia.  Now I am no doctor, by  any means, but really it has to be more than that.

So I continue on not knowing more than I did beofe, relieved it is not anything serious but wondering if maybe I am just simpy losing it?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Tags

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Trayvon Martin: Dead

Neighborhood Watch Captain George Michael Zimmerman is claiming he killed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in self-defense. The only problem? Zimmerman shot Martin to death with a 9 mm pistol, while Martin was “armed” only with a bag of Skittles and an iced tea.

The Retreat at Twin Lakes neighborhood watch leader George Zimmerman had called police to report Trayvon Martin as a suspicious person, but by the time the police arrived the young man was already dead.

According to NBC Miami, police said Martin had been returning from a local store with Skittles and an iced tea.

Zimmerman, who is white, has been charged with no crime for killing the unarmed and not-white Martin. Police haven’t even opened an investigation into the killing, seeing no need to.


Saturday, March 10, 2012

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Catholic Diocese Pulls Homeless Shelter Funding Because One Employee Supports Gays

francis house catholic church pulls funding, catholic diocese strips francis house of funding, catholics pull funding from homeless shelter
The Catholic Diocese of Sacramento no longer will fund programs at Francis House, a nonprofit agency that serves homeless people, because of its new director’s views supporting abortion rights and gay marriage.
In a letter last month, the diocese’s director of social services said the Rev. Faith Whitmore’s public statements on the issues clash with the teachings of the Catholic Church. Therefore, said the Rev. Michael Kiernan, the social services director, it is “impossible for the diocese to continue funding Francis House” as part of its annual Catholic Appeal.

Francis House provides has been providing people with access to transportation and housing in the Sacramento area for 42 years. 25,000 people in need receive care at Francis House each year.
“We serve the poor,” he said. “We don’t have a litmus test for homeless people when they come in. We don’t ask them for their position on choice and gay marriage. We just help them. But for whatever reason, the diocese made those issues a higher priority than the mission.”

My advice call Francis House today and make your donation!

Condoms NOW Required for LosAngeles Porn Actors

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Actors in many of the adult films made in the nation’s porn capital must use condoms under a law that took effect Monday, but the prophylactic police aren’t yet on the case.

How they will enforce such a regulation once they do begin enforcement is anyone’s guess.

In Los Angeles, where an estimated 90 percent of the country’s porn films are made, city officials and industry leaders are trying to settle on a way to ensure that there’s more safe sex on the set. Some say health care professionals should be present during a shoot to make sure actors use condoms.

"Today really is a milestone in the advance of health and safety for these adult filmmakers," said Ged Kenslea, spokesman for the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, which lobbied for years for the measure.
When the City Council passed the law in January, it gave police, the city attorney, the porn industry and others six months to recommend the best way to enforce the measure. They have roughly four months left.
Until then, it’s unclear whether police or health officials will start showing up at shoots. On Monday, city attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan said he didn’t know the status of enforcement.

To shoot a movie outside of a studio, the law requires a film permit and condom use. The larger porn companies that make the movies on studio soundstages don’t need permits and therefore are exempt from the condom requirement. The companies, however, would need one if they went to a house in a neighborhood to shoot a scene.

The question is whether smaller companies, in which only a handful of people show up at a house, usually in the city’s San Fernando Valley, quickly make a movie in a day or two and then move on, will pay any attention.

The head of one of the industry’s largest filmmakers said he hadn’t been approached about working out how the ordinance would work and how the city would deal with violators.

"We assumed we would be approached but we have not been," said Steven Hirsch, chief executive and co-founder of the Vivid Entertainment Group. Hirsch said about 90 percent of Vivid’s film shoots are conducted either in its own studio or outside the city.

But he quickly added that his company would immediately begin complying with the law and require that actors use condoms on any film shoots taking place outside a studio in Los Angeles.

Kenslea, the spokesman for the AIDS health care group, said he’s heard that, although as many 50,000 porn films a year are made in Los Angeles, only about 200 permits a month are issued by the city to film them.
"Just because they don’t take out permits does not mean there shouldn’t be regulations," he said.

Industry officials say the law isn’t needed and that their audiences find the use of condoms a turnoff. They said the industry’s own requirement, that actors be tested for sexually transmitted diseases every 30 days, is sufficient. Hirsch and others have pointed out that there hasn’t been a case of HIV linked directly to the making of a porn film since 2004.

Kenslea and other advocates of using condoms say there have been nine reported cases of HIV involving porn actors since 2004. They said those cases highlight the ever-present risk that someone can acquire the virus in their private life and then infect others on set.

When it comes to enforcement, Kenslea said, his organization is pushing for the city to use health care professionals, perhaps from a nursing agency, to conduct spot checks. The cost of the inspections would be paid out of fees the filmmakers would pay when applying for permits. The foundation has proposed a fee of $50 to $75.

Filmmakers who are caught violating the requirement would be refused future permits.

Meanwhile, his group is trying to get a measure on the November ballot that would require that Los Angeles County adopt a similar but tougher measure mandating a health permit similar to the ones for nail and hair salons. Such an ordinance would cover more than 80 other cities that fall within the county.

Some have threatened to leave the city, taking what they say is an $8 billion-a-year business.
Kenslea dismissed that as a "hollow threat."

"The industry is too entrenched here," he said, noting that Vivid, Larry Flynt and other prominent filmmakers are all based in the city and so are the industry’s actors and behind-the-scenes people.

If any do leave, he said, his organization will follow them and push for similar legislation in those new communities. In the case of one city, his organization won’t have to.

The mayor of Simi Valley, located about a 10-minute drive from the west San Fernando Valley, where most of the films are made, has proposed an even tougher ordinance than the one in Los Angeles. It is expected to come up for a vote of the City Council within a few weeks.

That law would require that a licensed health care professional be on any porn set to ensure condoms are being used and that the filmmakers turn over an unedited copy of their movie so authorities can see if condoms were used.

"The primary purpose here is it’s a health and safety issue. And secondarily, we don’t want them here," Mayor Bob Huber said of his city of 125,000 residents. "This is a family-oriented community and we don’t want them setting up their studios in Simi Valley."

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Pool Days (1993) (JJprods)

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GAY - 41 Secondes (Gay Short Movie-2006 GER s/t FRA et ENG)

Tests tomorrow

I have to admit I am nervous about tomorrow. I have scheduled first thing in the morning an MRI/CAT scan of my head as I have been having horrible migraines for over a month now.  Some times it causes dizziness and so far thankfully I have not fallen but I am back to walking at times with a cane because my balance is so screwed up.  I think the scans are precautionary because of the three spots that were found last April on the right side of my brain and that they have not advanced into something more is what they are being cautionary about.

It however does not make me feel any better about the whole thing and more than likely will not until I have the test results back and everything is normal.  If everything is normal my question than will be what is causing the headaches and how do I get rid of them.  Needless to say, other than the four days in Chicago, I have been VERY depressed and I seem disconnected from many things--my own life being one of them.  It is like I am watching myself on screen and it is not even me that I am watching I know that sounds odd but that my gentle reader is how it feels.

Creatively it seems like I have not had the time to do anything including my favorite thing--sewing, especially hand sewing.  Don;t get me wrong I have two projects I could be working on as we speak but I just don;t have the time and maybe that is why I feel so disconnected.  Of course the biggest joy in my life is my four dogs, which always bring a smile to my face, a warm welcome home as I walk in the door and four little souls just happy to "see their daddy".

School has been hectic, the homework a bit above normal levels or so it seems and maybe part of it is I have not been myself for almost two months now.  But I keep pressing forward and somehow I manage to stay on top of everything.  I also have started my thesis work this semester as well as trying to start the process of where I want to go to graduate school, which could be a whole blog entry into itself.  Again it has made this semester different than anyother but again somehow I stay on top of all of it.

I go sometime next week into Cleveland for blood-work as it is that time again for all of that "happiness' and hopefully cd4's, t-cells and everything else are all doing well but as a long term survivor it is always in thje back of my mind.  Well until next time...

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

NEW YORK CITY: Police Seek Prostitute In Strangulation Murder Of Chelsea Gay Man


On Friday night Manhattan resident John Laubach, 57, was found bound, gagged, and apparently strangled to death in his Chelsea apartment. Police are seeking a young man that Laubach may have hired that evening on Rentboy.com.
Police late Monday released a set of surveillance photos of a man allegedly caught trying to using John Laubach's bank card after he died, police said. The photos are from an ATM machine camera. Earlier Monday, police questioned a 24-year-old man but released him after interviewing him. Law-enforcement sources told NBC New York that they were led to the man after using facial recognition software on a still photo taken from a surveillance camera. The search turned up a possible hit -- an old mugshot for the 24-year-old man. John Laubach was found unconscious in his fourth-floor apartment at 212 West 22nd St. in Chelsea just before 8 p.m. Friday, when a friend went to check on him, according to police. His arms were found bound to the bedpost by an electrical cord, his mouth gagged with tape and his face covered with a towel, authorities said.
Friends say Laubach was active in a local gay-affirming church and had been studying to become a pastor. Neighbors report that Laubach lived quietly and occasionally had young male visitors. Below are the ATM surveillance shots released by the NYPD.RELATED: Late last year Craigslist prostitute John Katehis was found guilty for the gruesome 2009 stabbing murder of CBS newsman George Weber. Several other high-profile murders related to internet prostitution have rocked New York City in recent years.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Who Knew Leo Had A Thing For Red Heels!!

Dorothy's ruby slippers have found a new home.


In a Wednesday announcement, the Academy cites Leonardo DiCaprio as the primary benefactor.
"Leo's passionate leadership has helped us bring home this legendary piece of movie history," said Academy CEO Dawn Hudson. "It's a wonderful gift to the Academy museum project, and a perfect representation of the work we do year-round to preserve and share our film heritage."

Walt Disney CEO and chair of the capital campaign for the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures Bob Iger echoed Hudson's sentiments. "The ruby slippers occupy an extraordinary place in the hearts of movie audiences the world over," he said. "This is a transformative acquisition for our collection."

DiCaprio led the group of donors that enabled the purchase, which was brokered by auction house Profiles in History. Steven Spielberg and LACMA co-char Terry Semel were also among those involved.
These particular slippers, which many think were worn by Garland during close-ups, insert shots and the famous heel-clicks back to Kansas, bounced private collections, including costumer Kent Warner's, after being stored in MGM's Culver City lot for the three decades following Oz's production.

PHOTOS: 10 Biggest Book-to-Big Screen Adaptations of the Last 25 Years

Rhys Thomas, author of The Ruby Slippers of Oz, called them "the holy grail of all Hollywood Memorabilia" in a statement from the auction house. "Of the four pairs of authentic ruby slippers known to exist, this pair offered by Profiles in History, marked '#7 Judy Garland' and known as the 'Witch's Shoes,' are the most important and most valuable," he added.

They are expected to go on display at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures when it eventually takes residency in Wilshire's May Company building.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Lack of posts here lately

I want to take the time and apologize for the lack of posts, nearly all of it is because between my crowded school schedule and not feeling well for the last two to three weeks.  First it was the horrible migranes I have not been able to shake for three weeks now.  I go next Friday for an MRI/CAT Scan and am hoping for the best.  I think the test is a precautionary step considering the "non-cancerous, long term progressive AIDS' spots were spotted last April.  It does have me worried to say the least.  Will try to keep all of you posted.  Hopefully you will stay faitfhful and read, and hopefully you all enjoy what I am trying to do here.

This whole thing along with some other very personal things have me very seriously depressed, but somehow I try to but on a very brave front that I wonder if people are beginning to see through as I have had some moments were my judgement has well been judged.  It has been anything serious but I do take it very seriously as I don;t want to come off as an uncaring, brute who doesn;t have a brain in his head and well I know otherwise but I do wonder if I try to hard to be a "moral upstanding person".

The homework load this semester has been brutal and my life the last weeks have been basically that and I do at times try to conserve my energies but again I do wonder if it is getting the best of me.  At least I have this to put a voice to my frustrations and let things off my chest and for that I am thankful.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

For Valentine's Day; "The Crooked Road"


 
“The Crooked Road”



Of deep unspoken longings dare I say
To but gaze upon you across the distance
Of masculine marble like manly flesh
Oh to taste his sweet savory dew like kisses
Of the pale violet sun light on Christopher Street in New York City

To hold is hand in mine
The private musical of us in my mind
The smell of ruggedness as sweet perfume
Of what could be the quiet joy of brotherhood
Let him just once kiss me on Halstead Street in New York City
With the touch of his lips

My own warrior rebel
That our desire should be shared could
Lead to our wholeness once out of Eden’s gate
Fairytales do come true on Castro Street in San Francisco
Guide my heart out of my desert of loneliness

Once I’ve tasted his sweet savory kisses
Some say rebellion began
Hearts filled with the camp of Christmas
Can what we share be but higher law
Would the fruit of this be sweet to taste

The pinnacle of spirit on Fire Island
To be but more than friends dare I say
To desire the crooked road
To our iniquities den in Hell’s Kitchen in the New York City ghetto

Passion flung out of eternal fires
My soft beautiful vaporous being
Bitter bitchy queens at the door mocking
That this feeling is mine and I am his
With no doubt or uncertainty at all

This is self written and my special Valentine to all of you my readers

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Behind the Scenes Clavin Klein Underwear

San Francisco Police Dept. "It Get's Better"



Incredible Video!!

Private by Bell Soto


Private from Bell Soto on Vimeo.

I know this is early, but I felt this was a wonderful Valentine--from me to you my readers.  Exquiste photogrpahy, exquiste black and white sections and the music oh dear lord just love the whole thing, hope you do too

Vignette by Bell Soto


Vignette from Bell Soto on Vimeo.

I found this in a search I was doing and I just loved it on many levels, hope you do as well

Whitney Houston HAS DIED!



The The Associated Press is reporting that Whitney Houston, who reigned as pop music’s queen until her majestic voice and regal image were ravaged by drug use, has died at age 48.

Publicist Kristen Foster said Saturday that the singer had died, but the cause and the location of her death were unclear.

Whitney who was the only artist to chart seven consecutive No. 1 Billboard Hot 100 hits (“Saving All My Love for You”, “How Will I Know”, “Greatest Love of All”, “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)”, “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”, “So Emotional”, and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go”). She won multiple Grammys including album and record of the year.

In January 2010, Houston was nominated for two NAACP Image Awards, one for Best Female Artist and one for Best Music Video. She won the award for Best Music Video for her single “I Look to You.” On January 16, she received the BET Honors Award for Entertainer citing her lifetime achievements spanning over 25 years in the industry.

In May 2011, Houston enrolled once again in drug rehabilitation center, as an out-patient, citing drug and alcohol problems after an over decade long fight. A representative for Houston said that it was a part of Houston’s “longstanding recovery process.”

A great voice and talent ruined and lost.

May you rest in peace Whitney



How many days till summer?